A Touch of Torment

Chapter 11: head over heals

"What does this mean" Sirius and I say in unison.

Sirius and I both stare at each other dumbfounded, and by the way he is looking at me I assume that we both must have the same thoughts racing through our heads. 

what just happened and why?

I can tell that he doesn't want to talk about what happened between he and I before Narcissa and Lucius walked in the room, and I was thinking the same thing. I don't quite understand what happened when our wands touched, but I think it would be best if I tried to figure it out in the morning..you know-when i'm less drunk.

"um-interesting?" I mutter. Sirius blinks a few times and then awkwardly stands up. His height quickly towers over me as he shifts closer. 

I can't figure out what's going through his mind as I study his face. He offers a hand to help me stand up and I lazily grab his hand and he pulls me to my feet. I quickly begin to feel a rushing, throbbing pain in my head and before I realize it, my legs start to collapse beneath me. Sirius instinctively jolts towards me and his arms wrap around my torso. He catches me just before my body hits the floor. My vision starts to blur and the hallway spins. The only thing I can seem focus on is the pounding in my head. then..the room goes dark.

Third person pov

Freya's head rolls back and her body goes limp in Sirius' arms. Sirius begins frantically worrying as he feels her body relax and fall into his arms unconsciously. He pulls her body closer to his chest and moves one of his arms to support her legs as he lifts her up. 

Sirius hates seeing her like this. It gives him flashbacks of when he would carry his drunken little brother up the stairs after Regulus had gotten beaten by their parents. Sirius starts to think about how him and his brother had both turned to drinking to help sooth their trauma, but in the end it never really helped anything, in fact it actually made it worse. Alcohol is a cover up- a facade- an excuse to pass out and forget about your problem even just for a moment. Sirius thought to himself as he stared down at the ginger haired girl passed out in his arms. He understands why she would drink, because he too has been there, but what he doesn't understand is why she presents this false image of herself. How she pretends to be so tough around everyone and how she acts as if she doesn't care what people say or think about her, but deep down he knows the real Freya and she cares what people think. He knows she isn't as tough as she acts. He knows all she's ever really wanted was to be important to someone and to be loved. She never felt important growing up, her mother was taken from their home by the ministry when she was young and her father started to ignore her existence out of grief. He knows she has a lot of built up anger inside of her and that she lashes out. He knows she has a fragile soul and that she doesn't love like a normal person, she's passionate and complex. He thought as he started to carry her down the stairs. 

As Sirius rounds the corner the music and flashing lights became overwhelming to him. He tries to get out of there as quickly as possible without being spotted..however what Sirius didn't realize was that the moment he stepped around the corner, James immediately noticed Freya's presence.  James adjusts his glasses and his eyes focus on the unconscious ginger in Sirius' arms. The second James see's her he starts frantically following them out the door of the common room. James cares for Freya and he couldn't stop thinking about what happened between them. James felt bad about how he acted towards her and would do anything in his power to make it right. With the image of his best friend carrying her hanging in his mind he picks up his pace. 

that should be me carrying her. Why was I not there for her when this happened. He was there for her- I wasn't..

James thought to himself. He began thinking back to when he the first entered the common room and how he saw Freya stare viciously into Sirius' eyes when she kissed Snivellus. James was enraged when she did that. He was used to Severus taking from him, first Lily. 

Then he found it odd how his best friend dragged Freya away in one swift motion, she was gone before James could even react. 

Why did Sirius react that way and why did Freya deliberately look Sirius in the eyes while she kissed Severus.? what happened after Padfoot dragged her in the direction of her dorm..?

James started to feel a jealously take hold of him. Sirius wouldn't- no. There is nothing going on between them.  He told himself over and over again.

Sirius ran through the corridors with Freya held tightly in his arms until he made it to the Gryffindor painting. He stopped and said the password impatiently and then the painting swung open and Sirius ran up the boys dormitory stairs without even taking a moment to see who was in the common room. James walked into the common room a minute later. The Gryffindor Party was finished and all that remained was trash and a few students cleaning up. James quickly went after Freya when he felt a hand grab his wrist softly. His head snapped around and there Lily was.  

"Hi-uh I am really sorry but-I" he utters, trying to walk away from her, towards Freya's direction, but Lily's eyes flash with anger and her grasp tightens and she pulls him back. 

"Don't act as if I didn't just see your best friend run in that direction carrying my cousin in his arms." Lily remarks, with a slight nosy gleam. She notices the jealously flash through James eyes, and it angers her in the slightest. "Pretty romantic eh?" She says with a mischievous grin. "If you ask me, that boy is head over heals." She crosses her arms casually. James body tenses and his face turns red, falling into her trap.

"Well nobody asked you." He says with gritted teeth. Lily is surprised by how he reacted and her mouth drops in disbelief. 

"Are you fucking kidding me right now?" She exclaims. "I do not believe. That miserable excuse for a human, somehow convinced both of you she is actually worth caring for." James eyes widen in shock of the way Lily talks about her cousin. He seems lost for words. "How could you even stand to be around someone like her. everything about her is- enraging and-and irritating!" 

James felt he should stand up for Freya and say something to Lily, yell at her perhaps. Even when he tried though- he couldn't- he couldn't bring himself to do anything towards Lily. He was powerless against her, and part of him would always still care for her.

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Sirius laid Freya on his bed softly. He took her shoes off and placed them neatly on the floor. She looks peaceful.  Sirius studied her. ethereal. 

Sirius covered her up with his deep burgundy comforter, then he leaned down and placed a small kiss on her forehead. He grabbed a spare blanket and pillow and lied on the ground beside his bed, holding Freya's hand, he fell asleep.

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a/n: hey guys! Lmk what you thought of this chapter

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