Chapter 18

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"Fucking up my mental when I think about you
In my room plotting how to start reaching out to you
Cause at first the situation had me deep in doubt
But the beauty evened out the beast and I can't be without
Your love
It's by far the most dangerous subject to touch
Yet we actin' like its lust, yeah right
Will lust have you up at 5 writing a text
Trying to get a thought up off of your chest
And her all on your chest gotta work so you calling to rest
For a second then you call her for sex
And she there in a second and her parents are stressing
Cause she missed a whole semester fucking round with this peasant..."

Blue and Exile – "No Greater Love"

A week after celebrating her birthday, Disa was struck with period pains so intense that she had to stay home for three days curled up in her bed with a hot water bottle smashed into her belly and a bottle of extra-strength Tylenol on hand every six hours. Heavy bleeding had her feeling too ill to eat solid food, so she sipped herbal teas and forced down chicken broth. The rain outside wouldn't let up, and the overcast sky matched the overcast mood as she toughed it out. She had uterine fibroids and her flow had gotten heavier over the last three years.

Her doctor had her on high iron supplements to prevent anemia from all the extraneous blood loss every month. Her periods lasted longer than five days, and with the heavier blood flow, she worried about cancerous tumors. Especially with her father suffering from throat cancer. Her mind whirled with thoughts of heredity. Her mother suffered from fibroids for years and passed it down to her. She feared having uterine cancer if she hit the wrong genetic lottery. So far, the worst she experienced was lower back pain, the overabundance of blood loss, and having to change her menstrual pads up to three times a day away from home on her crappy days. Her last doctor's visit had her caretaker recommending dietary changes. More fruit and vegetables. Weight loss. Disa loved her size and lamented the thought of having to shrink her goddess body. She was not interested in looking unlike herself just to live pain-free seven days each month. Of course, she would do it if she had to, but so far, crying in bed with a rubber bladder pressed into her stomach and smoking weed to ease the pain was enough. The symptoms that debilitated her only occurred three or four times a year. She could handle that. For now.

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