Ecstasy, Misery

27 | secret oxy dealer

into the flood again, same old trip it was back then

so i made a big mistake, try to see it once my way

would? - alice in chains (1992)

June 14th, 1998

My feet hit the pavement as soon as the bus door opens up to the stop a couple blocks down from the house.

I don't look back on my run down the sidewalk. The tears haven't stopped either; actually I'm pretty sure I've only become more frantic. I need to talk to Harry, confess what I did and just deal with the consequences of my actions. If he never wants to talk to me again, then fine. I guess I wouldn't want to be friends with someone like me if I was someone like him.

As far as the girls, I think they'll be more forgiving and understanding. They've always been softer with me. The old Connor would be kind too, but this new, drugged out Connor will probably chastise my weakness; maybe I can convince everyone to just keep their mouths shut around him and he doesn't have to know.

When I finally make it to the bottom of the driveway, I immediately stop in my tracks when I see that Harry's car is missing and Connor's is actually back for once.

Fuck.

No. I can't handle the wait. I have to talk to Harry now. My hands tremble as I pace a little, trying to remember if he said something about going somewhere today.

And then it hits me. He said he has a tattoo client in the shop. He's probably at Buzzkill.

I start running again.

That's only a couple blocks away.

When I make it back over by the bus stop, somebody's sitting on the bench and as I'm about to run past to continue my run to Buzzkill, they speak up.

"Nova?"

I freeze when I hear their voice.

Why? Why do I have to run into someone I know when I look like this.

I wipe away a sniffle with my oversized denim jacket before I look back to see Jack, the guy from Mango's last night. The guy Harry literally tore me away from. The guy who got upset, thinking that I ditched him to make out with Harry, which I didn't even do on purpose.

"Jack." I breathe out a small laugh, trying to lighten the dark cloud that I'm sure is raining down on me. "Uh...w-what are you doing around here?"

The question comes off a little more skeptical than I mean for it to, but then when I think about it, it is a little odd that I'm running into this guy so close to home.

What if...? No, he couldn't be the person who took those pictures back in May. I only just met him a couple days ago.

"Oh, I've got a buddy that lives in the neighborhood. You?" He answers lightly, sounding nothing but genuine as he sits there at the end of the bench.

"Yeah, me too." I answer through another sniffle, not quite comfortable enough to let him know that I actually live around here.