The other Dutton

The Bug's Broken Heart

A/N Not even going to lie I cried while writing this chapter. The song up above is the song I listened to while writing it. Hope you have some tissues by you.

Lee wasn't here. The knot became tighter. "State police are sending out a chopper to look for him." Jamie said. I felt sick. I gripped Rip's hand tighter.

"No need. I found him." I looked up to the horizon to see a horse and a rider. Something in my heart said it wasn't him. I watched dad get on a horse and ride towards the rider. I bit my lip. My hands were shaking. Something wasn't right.

I watched the rider and dad change places. The rider got on the horse and started towards us. The closer he came I realized that it was Kayce. I was the first one to race off the porch and run to him.

"Kayce? What happened?" I asked noticing the blood on his shirt. My eyes went wide.

"It ain't mine." He voice choked up.

"Kayce your scaring me. What's going on?"

"Lee's gone bug." I jerked my head back. Nobody but Lee had called me bug.

"Don't call me that." I said close to tears. "Lee's not gone he's just late."

"Carly! Lee's gone! He's DEAD!!" Kayce yelled at me as he broke down crying.

I felt my whole world come crashing down around me. I fell to my knees on the hard ground. I didn't even register the hurt when I fell. Tears ran down my face. I couldn't breath. My breath came in labored gasps.

"Carly breath honey." Rip's voice came. I shoved my face in his chest. The tears were flowing so fast that I couldn't see anything. Rip tried calming me down. But nothing was helping. He was supposed to be here! To see me win! See me and Rip get married! Supposed to be cool fun Uncle Lee to my kids. I couldn't get enough air in. My vision had black dots in it. Pretty soon everything turn black.

I sat on the floor of my bedroom in the main ranch house. I heard the footsteps go by but not one dare to come in. Beth had tried and got a old hairbrush thrown at her. Jamie had also tried and had a glass vase thrown at him. I had half a bottle of Jack Daniels in my hand. Another bottle was some where in the room but it was empty. I had been in here all day. Gator had left food in here for me. He didn't try to talk to me so he didn't get anything thrown at him. The food layed untouched in the corner of the room. I took another sip from the bottle in my hand. I had only wanted it to make me feel numb. Well it did but it also had memories come to the surface and play like a movie.

I heard a pair of footsteps stop at the door and a knock came to the door. I grabbed the closest thing next to me. It was an old stuff rabbit. I grabbed it by the leg and got ready to chuck it. Rip's face popped in. Before I could even think my arm flug the rabbit. It hit him right in the face. It would have been funny if it was any other day and situation. I watched him take a breath and let it out. He picked up the rabbit and threw it on the bed. I watched as I took another sip. Rip came and sat next to me. I handed him the bottle and he took a sip. We sat in silence for a bit before I broke down. "It hurts Rip."

"I know honey." He said as he pulled me into his lap.

"I told him not to do anything stupid! And not to get him self killed! I told him damn it!" I felt so angry. "He was supposed to be here. To see me win! To see us get married! He was supposed to be here." Rip held me tighter. "I don't even know if I still want to compete with out him." I admitted softly.

"Honey he wouldn't want you to give it up because of him. He would want you to keep going."

"I know." I said in a whisper as I layed my head on his chest.

I stood on the porch in a black dress. Rip stood next to me. At least 100 people were here.

"It's time." Jamie said. We all followed dad to the cemetery. On his casket was blue and yellow flowers. I held my dad's hand as Rip held my other one. The preacher was say ing a bunch of words but I wasn't listening I was back in my memories.

Flashback.....
I sat on the fence of a rodeo. I was about 7 at the time. And i was watching girls run barrels. I was amazed at it. "Lee. I want to do that." I told Lee that stood behind me still in his vest from riding his saddle broncs.

"You want to try bug?" I nodded my head yes excitedly.

The next day I sat on my paint mare. Three barrels were set up in the arena. "Alight you remember the pattern?" I nodded and traced it in the air with my finger. "Ok. Let's see what you got. As I went around the barrels the wind flew through my hair. The adrenaline rush through my veins and I fell in love. As I pulled the mare to a stop Lee rushed over to me. "That was a amazing bug. Your a natural. But this will require hard work. Are you up for that?"

"Yes!"

"Then we are going to make you a star!" He said lifting me up.
Flashback over

A hand squeezed mine breaking me out of my thoughts. People were starting to walk away. As we walked by the casket I whispered good bye Lee. My cheeks were stained with my tears. I noticed that my dad was talking to Kayce. I really wanted to talk to him but now wasn't the time. Me, Beth and Jamie stood looking at dad talk to the governor. I wanted to scream that she didn't even know him but I didn't. Beth put her hand on my shoulder and squeezed it lightly.

"He's never looked at me the way he looks at Kayce." Jamie said. He never looked at any of us the way he did Kayce. Dad waved us over as she left.

"And he never will." Beth told him as she led me over to dad. Beth was on one side of dad while I was one the other. Jamie in the middle.

"I need you more then ever."

"You have me." Jamie said.

"You've always had me. I ain't going anywhere. Tell me what we need to do." I said with a nod. He smiled slightly at me.

"Can you stay awhile?" He asked Beth.

"I'm not going anywhere. Just tell me who to fight."

"Everyone."