The Fifth Member (Little Mix/Perrie Edwards gxg) Part 2

Chapter 24

Perrie's POV:

"I've missed you Petal." My mother said while hugging me.

"I missed you too ma." I said with a neutral voice.

My mother looked at me and I knew she was still worried about me.

"How have you been doing lately?" She asked.

"Fine." I replied shortly.

It's not that I'm not glad to see her, it's just that all of our conversations always end up the same.

We chatted a bit longer about family and how everyone was doing until we didn't have much to talk about anymore.

"Have you tried reaching out to them again?" She finally asked and I internally rolled my eyes.

"No." I said simply.

"Petal, I can see you're not yourself anymore. Why won't you do something good for yourself?" She said almost begging.

"And I told you a thousand times now that what happened between all of us likely can't be fixed anymore." I said taking a sip of my coffee.

"Well you never told me anything about it. Not about how you all decide to disband, why you even did it, or why you and Beth broke up." She said.

As soon as she mentioned her name I looked up eyes darkened.

"Please don't mention her name." I said lowly.

"Petal what happened? Please I can't help if I don't know." She said touching my hand.

Silently I sipped my coffee again. There's no need to relive my biggest regret ever.

"Perrie." My mother said looking at me with that 'Mom' look.

I sighed but still remained silent.

After a while I finally spoke up, "Why can't you just trust me? This can't be fixed. Little Mix is over. Her and I are over."

"Did you say something bad?" She finally asked.

"Why would you assume that?" I asked defensively.

"Because I know you. If they had said something wrong you'd forgive them because that's who you are. In this case you aren't even trying and that tells me you did something wrong big time." She said and after a while she said, "Or if I'm wrong tell me."

I sighed. She's spot on.

"Pez, you don't know what apologies and effort do. Even if you guys wouldn't be a band anymore you could still be friends." She suggested.

"No. Our friendship blossomed through being a band. If we stay solo acts I'm never seeing them even if we would be friends." I said tiredly.

"So you do want to become Little Mix again." She said leaning back.

I sighed, "Mam, of course I want that. Everyday I can't help but think about the stupid things I said. If I had listened to her and held back with defending myself, maybe it wouldn't have gotten this far. But no instead I turned on her as well and said things that until now I hate myself for."

"What did you say?" She asked softly.

I couldn't help the tears that dropped, "Horrible things. Mam I don't know what got into me that night. I truly can't comprehend how I was able to say things like that."

"What was it Pez?" She asked more insistent this time.

"I told her how she is a coward for not being able to argue with me. I was being a bitch, yelling at her for not taking my side when we argued with them. She didn't take any sides, she tried to keep the peace. Yet I still blamed her and said she was coward for not arguing and fighting. All I wanted was for her to have an outburst. I'm mental aren't I? What kind of sane person wouldn't appreciate their partner being calm and composed. No instead I wanted her to yell, to say I was being a bitch, I don't know anything. Her being so calm made me feel like I was in the wrong which agitated me even more." I finally told her.