Never Again

27

Larry's POV:

After hanging out with friends for a couple weeks I decided to head back to Paris for a surprise visit.

I hadn't told anyone where I was going not even mami. Every time I'd call her and ask how she was she would tell me Laurent and her were fine.

Damn that boy can be stubborn. We did manage to have a civil conversation a few days ago. Nothing to major just a couple heys and how are yous, plus a few yea we need to talk.

It's not much but it is better than we have been.

So this morning I am on a plane heading to Paris. I will arrive in the evening when both Laurent and mami are sleeping.

I haven't quite figure out how I am going to approach this conversation with Laurent, but what I do know is not only do we have to hash everything out but we both have to shut up and listen to the other fully. Not just what we want to hear, but actually hear what they are saying.

After boarding the plane and shutting off my phone (which I never do) I sat back and waited impatiently for the plane to take off.

Soon after take off I started dozing off and soon found sleep. My pleasant dreams that filled my mind every night of Laurent began running like my favorite show through my mind.

I watched as my dreams showed a happy giggling Laurent as I held him in my arms while we watched a movie.

His laughter and smile had always been his best features. Every time I heard him laugh my heart skipped a beat with joy.

'Larry do you love me'? I heard Laurent whisper against my chest as I held him closer to me.

'Forever'. I told him.

A tear slid down my face as I remember telling him I loved him for forever, knowing I hurt him more than anyone else has.

As time went on my dreams turned from happy simple cuddling to our make out sessions.

F**k his lips were pure pleasure, like two fluffy soft clouds anyone could find their selves lost against when they kissed them.

A shake on the shoulder woke me up.

Was I moaning in my sleep?

I stared at the petite young man standing next to my chair, staring back at me not sure what he was supposed to do.

'Um sir'? He said, more like asked. Does he not know me?

I stared at him waiting for him to say something till I noticed he and I was the only ones on the plane.

Had I really slept that long?

'Sir, the other passengers have gotten off already'. He told me softly. I nodded my head, thanked him and stood up gathering my small backpack and exiting the plane. I thanked the young man again for waking me up.

Wow I can't believe I slept the whole plane ride. I know some where in between the plane ride, I got off and got on another plane, but other than switching planes I can't remember the ride. I just shrugged my shoulders not really caring right now. I still feel tired and I know it's because Laurent and I's distance, it always happens.

Exiting the airport I hailed a taxi, gave the driver the address and headed towards mami's house. After arriving at her house I looked at the time on my watch and seen it's almost one a.m. I knew mami would be asleep at this time, but wasn't sure about Laurent.

Both of us get so drained from our lack of physical communication that it gets hard for us to sleep properly. And when we do finally find sleep it doesn't last long and we feel worse than when we actually slept.

Now before you get upset thinking the only reason I am here is to "recharge" myself as some of the fans call it. No I am actually here because I need my brother and as stubborn as he is, he needs me to. Besides we can't continue how we are and function this way without the conversation that is way past overdue. That is the main reason I am here.

As I quietly unlock the door, resetting the alarm and leaving my suitcase in the living room. I quietly walked up the stairs towards our room, opening the door and quickly but quietly closed it behind me.

I walked over to his bed, but I didn't find him in it. His bed felt like he hadn't slept in it.

I walked towards the en suite bathroom, maybe he hasn't been to bed yet and he's in the shower. Although I doubt that because I didn't hear the water running. So instead I turned the flashlight on my cell phone but had it faced down just in case he was in the room and asleep.

I walked towards my bed where I seen him sleeping soundly cuddled up with patro. Smiling at the image, I quietly got undressed leaving my boxers on and climbed in bed next to Laurent, wrapping my arms around his waist, pulling him closer to my chest and kissed his hair.

'Larry'. I heard him mumble in his sleep. I just held him closer to my chest not saying anything, enjoying holding him once again, against my chest.

I felt him squirm a little trying to get closer to me if that is even possible.

'Larry'. I heard him say a little clearer this time. Before I could say anything he turned and laid his head against my chest wrapping his arm around my waist.

'Larry'. He repeated again. This time I decided to answer him, holding him closer to me.

'Yes Laurent'. I said kissing his temple. He snuggled to my side and held me closer to him. I heard him sigh contentedly before hearing him say the only question he had ever asked me whenever I held him while we slept, but still at the end, breaking my heart.

'Larry do you love me, still'? Just like in my dream a tear slide down my face, only this time it didn't stop at one.

How can he ask me if I still love him?

I have never stopped loving him.

'Forever'. I told him softly, snuggling closer to him, kissing his hair and temple again.

Laurent sigh once again before finding sleep once more. I unfortunately was unable to find sleep. I laid on my bed holding Laurent to me as close as I could, while the past few months played in my mind over and over again. I just couldn't get over him asking me if I still loved him. Yes I am an a$$hole and have a hard time showing my feelings but I didn't know Laurent felt as though I stopped loving him.

Him asking me was like being stabbed countless times in the heart.

Is this why he made sure to keep his distance?

Is this why, we have been so drained lately?

F**k I gritted in my head at myself. I need to make Laurent believe I love him, that I never stopped.

No matter where we go I will forever love him.