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Chapter: 15

When I tired to move, my body was tied around a chair. The room was was dark. There was only one light, nothing more.

I was tired and I could barely open my eyes. I don't understand how I ended up here when everything was okay yesterday-

Shot.

I forgot what Juan said to me yesterday. Is that day today? No, it can't be. At least not so fast. What am I supposed do?

I tried getting out of the chair but I was tied up hard. Hard enough to not even move.

I don't wanna die, I don't wanna die, I don't wanna die. I repeated multiple times. But as I was repeating it, I knew no one could save me. Not even Reid.

So, this is the last time? Last time being on earth, last time being alive, last time to actually feel something?

The door slowly opened and I tried to see who it was. Unfortunately, the light didn't let me. "Please, I'm begging, don't kill me," no answer. "Please, I'll do anything, just let me go." Still no answer.

"I don't want to kill you," the voice belonged to, Juan. "But I have too," he stepped closer. He was standing in the light. He had no expression on his face.

"Sorry," he leaned down and gave me a passionate kiss, one last time. "I have no choice, your dad left me with no choice to me."

He loaded the gun and held it in front of my forehead. "Juan," I spoke softly, a tear ran down my cheeks. "Please," I sobbed. His fist clenched but he didn't move.

"Don't make this harder for me Valerie than it already is!" His gun was still pointed to my forehead. I shut down my eyes, I don't want to see when he's gonna shoot me.

Out of everyone's life, why is MY life so miserable? I know people do have problems at home, school and in a relationship. But not the same problem as mine. If I knew my dad was involved in the mafia, I would have been more safe than usual.

But of course, he hates me. Hates me. Did he ever actually love me? I still don't know the actual reason why my dad killed his mom. What was so special that he had to kill her?

I have so many questions, but I won't even get one answer. "Just pull the trigger, Juan. I don't want to wait, I'm tired." I said.

I was and I am getting tired of everything. He can help me end it all at a moment. "I want you to say something hateful to me. I want to hear what you have to say about me, take that burden out and feel relieved." He spoke angrily.

I took the chance. I don't want any burden before I die, I wanted to feel relived but at the time I didn't want to hurt him with my word. What I have to say is very cruel, I don't know if it's the right thing to do.

"It's too cruel and bad. You will get hurt, I have so much to say but I don't know if it's the right thing to say," he took a deep breath.

"That's why I want you to take it out. I want to kill you without any guilt. I want you to die because of me, without guilt. Whatever you have to say, say it out loud. The bad and the good. But the good first and the bad." He explained, pressing the gun on my forehead.

"I know this is gonna sound weird, but I love you. I love everything about you, I want to comfort you so you feel safe and happy," I continued, "I love you the most. I just started to gain feelings. I had no idea I would ever fall in love with you. I loved you when you touched me, made me feel good about myself, and when you kissed me. When we first started to have sex, I didn't knew if it was the right thing," my heart was hurting, "but the way you made me feel, while we were having it and after, I knew it was right."

My eyes were still closed and tears were still streaming down my face. My throat started to feel dry.

"I don't know how I even started to love you, maybe the day you kissed me for the first time?" I pause. That sentence was running in my head. "That was all the good things about you, Juan. Now the bad." I know he's gonna get hurt and hate me, but he will have no problem to kill me and I allow it.

"I love you, but I also hate you. Hate you for the way you make me feel about myself. And fuck you Juan, fuck you. Fuck you for killing me when I'm innocent," I opened my eyes, I want to stare into his eyes so he knows how much I hate him. "Fuck you for taking my dream away for your stupid girlfriend I don't even know where is. Fuck you for kidnapping me and existing. Fuck you for making my life living hell. Fuck you, your girlfriend don't deserve you."

I stopped, I felt the blood boil but I didn't care.

"I hope you never find your girlfriend, she doesn't deserve a stupid man a like you who kills innocent people," I screamed in pain. "Fuck you for being you. Fuck you for listening to people. Fuck you for making me fall in love with you." I regret but I needed to take the burden off my shoulders.

"I hate you,  you have made my life miserable and harder. You're a shitty person, go get out of my life, and everyones. FUCK YOU AND I WILL ALWAYS FUCKING HATE YOU!"

I stopped, I shut my eyes and my mouth. "I don't regret saying anything," was the last thing I said to him.

I didn't want to open my eyes and see how angry he looked. Now I know he hates me. I felt so much better saying things in wanted to say, but I never meant to say any of those. I took the chance and said things I didn't want to say nor do I feel regrets when I should have.

He pressed the gun on my forehead, but took a step back.

Then I heard the gun fire. The gun was fired.

Tears stopped to stream down my face. Everything stopped around me. Everything was faded away. The room was now silent, no sound from me nor Juan. I couldn't even open my eyes or speak. Everything went black for me.

————

Damn, what did Juan do?

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** I will edit the whole story and the mistakes after the story is completed!**