Stung by a Bee || Tubbo Angst

🐝 Chapter 9: Facial Dysmorphia

Trigger warning !! This chapter contains:
Mention of self-harm
Facial Dysmorphia
Self-Deprecating thoughts
Pills

Read this with caution and if you're uncomfortable with it, I advise you click out now! Stay safe <3
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Tubbo's POV:

I woke up with the rays of sun beaming down on my eyes. A split second of peace washes over me until I remember everything that happened with Wilbur yesterday.

I groaned and crawled out of bed, then dragged myself to the bathroom. Locking the door shortly behind. My dark brown eyes locked onto the mirror.

I studied every feature on my face, it looked distorted. My hands grabbed my face and felt all of my features, god I look.. ugly.

What the fuck is happening..?? My breathing sped up after looking or so long. My gaze left the mirror. I was panicking. I grasped the sink for balance, my head was spinning.

I ripped open the drawers but I didn't care that I was being loud. My vision was blurred and I felt like I was going to pass out from this. I wasn't supposed to cut anymore.

I told Wilbur I'd stop, I gave him everything yesterday. Fuck it I don't care nothing can save me anymore. I don't know what to do. What the fuck is happening I can't focus.

Something pricked my finger, then I grabbed it. Apparently they forgot to check the bathroom, aha. I rolled up my sleeve and placed the blade on my arm.

I put a lot of pressure and swiped, blood quickly poured out. I turned the water on and ran my arm under it. It stung so much but I kept cutting. At the end I have several cuts running up and down my arm.

No bare skin was showing, just gaps of cuts. They all were deep enough to need stitches. Shit. Well I guess it doesn't really matter.. I didn't take a second to think, fuck.

I turn on the faucet and keep my arm under the cold water after about five minutes I wrapped them tightly in bandages. My vision is filled with black dots and I feel like I'm gonna pass out. One last thing came to mind.

"WILBUR!" I shouted with a raspy voice and my tears dripped onto the floor.

"Wilbur.." I continued to sob quietly to myself.

I cried and cried until I had to gasp for air. Then I heard the door open slightly. I didn't even know what time it was. What if it was 7AM? Did I just wake him up? What is wrong with me?? I sobbed harder.

He grasped me into a hug tightly, and rocked me back and forth. Wilbur continued to rub circles on my back whilst I cried into his shoulder. It felt so comforting.

He helped me to my feet and into my bedroom, shutting the door behind us.

"W-will what time is it..?" I said shamefully.

"It's 1:35PM, don't worry you didn't wake anyone up. Ranboo and I were already up and going for the day." He said in a calming voice.

"Tubbo mate, what happened? Why are you upset?" He continued.

"I don't k-know. I just woke up and I went to the bathroom to get ready you know. I stopped dead in my tracks at the mirror and that's when it started."
I paused for breath then continued.

"I couldn't stop looking at myself, my face looked distorted in a way. Like I couldn't fully see my face I looked- no I look horrible. It was frightening. It made me anxious. I couldn't take it so i-i cut.." I finished while mumbling the last part under my breath.