The Great Indian Wedding Romance

24. Conversations

"That is a very difficult question to answer," Siddharth said after a brief pause. 

"It's a simple yes or no question," Chetna said quickly and swallowed in anticipation. 

"Okay then, no. Marriage is not a part of my immediate plans." 

Siddharth was confused by Chetna's sharp intake of breath and panicked expression.

"What's wrong, Chetna?" he asked when she drew farther away from him. 

"But why don't you want that?" she asked. 

Any remnants of sleep in her eyes had vanished. She was now wide awake, her heart beating at an unsteady rhythm. 

"I don't know, there are so many reasons. I don't believe in the institution of marriage, it's a waste of money and just something we do because society expects us to. It just complicates things. Why involve a million people just to declare your love? Feelings and words are enough don't you think?" 

Siddharth did not know the tumult of emotions that were coursing through Chetna at his response. All he had given her was an honest answer.

"Siddharth do you realize what that makes me think of? Fickleness." Chetna said in a measured, steady voice. 

"What does that mean?" 

"You were declaring your feelings for me on the rooftop just a while ago and now you're saying you never want to get married? How do you think that makes me feel? I thought you saw a future with me?" Chetna said, trying hard to hold her emotions in check. 

"Why do you think my scepticism for marriage has any relation to my feelings for you and my intentions for our future? Yes, I do not want to get married but that has nothing to do with you. I don't want to get married at all. And I thought you of all people would understand." 

Chetna was now trying hard to fight her tears. Her eyes were beginning to blur and her voice was unsteady. 

"So I was another one of your many girlfriends? Someone you amused yourself with at this boring wedding and disposed of when convenient?" 

Siddharth gaped at her in utter disbelief. Hadn't he made it clear how sincere his feelings were? How could she accuse him of something like that after he had bared his soul to her over and over? Some of that disbelief turned into anger and hurt. A minute ago he had shared intimate details of his life with her and she was assuming he was using her just because he said he didn't think marriage was worth all that. 

"I don't even know how to answer that, Chetna. If even a part of you believes that then maybe we shouldn't be having this conversation."

Tears were now flowing freely as Chetna clasped Siddharth's hand. 

"I just thought we had so much ahead of us. We could be together as I finish my internship and then get a job. I thought you of all people would support me in achieving my dreams? I thought you were my guiding light out of this hellhole."

"Chetna, of course, I support you but this mindset you have is not right. Don't think of marriage as a ticket out of your problems. You are better than this. You will pave your own way. You are strong and brilliant. You have so much potential." 

Siddharth's phone started vibrating next to him and he checked the caller ID. It was his mother. He hadn't spoken to her all night. She was probably worried now that the wedding was over. He muted it, this would have to wait. 

"Siddharth that's not possible. You know what my family is like," she said, defeated. 

"Are you seriously deterred by your family? Years of rebellion and when it finally matters, you give up and wait for a man to marry you out of your problems?" he demanded.