Moose and Goose

Chapter Eighty-one

Judith quickly drops to her knees and slams one hand across her little sister's mouth, muffling her sharp scream, and she holds the back of her head in the other. Vera glares at her as her tears stream down her older sister's fingers.

"Do you know why he's in the hospital right now?" Vera shakes her head, and her nose begins to turn red. "Because he had a spaz attack, and I couldn't stop him before Mom heard it. I tried to make him calm down, but nothing I did or said helped. Vera, he's gone. Once you go in for what they think is a suicide attempt, no one can get you out."

The sirens grow louder as the ambulance nears their house, and Judy feels lightheaded. She knows that she can't help Stevie and if her mother wakes up and realizes what Sauvera did, Vera will be sent away with him.

"I just wanted to help," she says when her sister takes her hand away.

"How would this help, Vera?" She doesn't answer so Judith continues, "Mom is losing her shit over everything going on, and I'm so fucking tired of trying to calm her down so she doesn't turn on you two; Sauvera, what's wrong with you?"

She flinches at the sternness in her sister's question, how loud her voice resonates and reminds her that she's a child. Vera's vision clouds behind the rising tears and her throat aches but she stammers over her response, "He's in the hospital – because of me, Judy. Dad is dead because of me, everything is wrong because of me!"

"Not this again," Judith mumbles while closing her eyes. She takes a deep breath before returning her attention to the doe eyes staring back at her.

Before she can say another word, Vera says over a cracked voice, "Stevie didn't kill Jackie — I did. I don't know why I did it. I just started thinking about Daddy and how cold, and hard, and grey he looked." She notices Sauvera's body trembling and jerking with suppressed hiccups, tears pouring down her face. "I started bleeding and had no one because you went away! I can't – Judy, I need Stevie."

She drops her face into her hands, her sadness collecting into the crevices in her palms. Judith takes another deep breath, raising her hand at a pace slow enough to not startle a skittish animal. She caresses her coarse plaits, feeling and admiring every dry strand.

She brings both arms around her quivering torso, embracing her close enough to feel her arrhythmic heartbeat.

"I'm sorry I wasn't here for you, Vera. I can't change how things were but I'm doing everything I can to make up for it." Sauvera sobs into her chest and Judith rests her chin against the top of her head. "I need you to fix this. Fix this, and I'll be able to stay and help you whenever you need me."

She draws out of her older sister's arms, then pushes herself off the floor. Judith watches her step into the hall before following her. Vera wipes her face with the sleeves of her pajamas and sniffles her reddening nose.

They proceed down the stairs just as the medical personnel bang on the front door, and Vera opens it without a moment to think.

Two men— one tall and thin, the other short and overweight— are waiting on the porch in light blue uniform shirts and black chinos.

"We received a call about someone trying to harm themselves at this house. May we come in," the lanky one asks. Judith looks down at her sister when she turns her head to catch her gaze.

"It was a prank," Vera finally says, looking at them and forcing a smile. The corners of her mouth twitch. "My brother went to the hospital and he and I are really close. I was hoping maybe I could be there with him; y'know, so he doesn't feel alone."

Judith watches the spinning red and blue lights above the white Chrysler limousine. The vintage vehicle's edges are rounded as she remembers from the late sixties, and her mind drifts to Stevie.