Moose and Goose

Chapter Eighty-seven

"And I feel pressure from everyone to be this person with no emotions and the drive to be everything I wouldn't have been decades or centuries ago," Judith says through rapidly falling tears. Her breathing is ragged and her trembling hands rise to her quivering lips. "I'm not my grandmother or my aunts. I'm a person with issues outside of my color and no one to help me!"

"Hey, you have me." He stands out of the chair and leans over, sitting the notes and pen on his seat. Judith watches him approach her from the right of the bed and sit on the edge. "I know I don't understand what it's like to be you, but I come from a Jewish, immigrant background and I know what it's like to have pressure to be what they couldn't. Pressure to be an American; whatever that means."

"Sometimes I wish I could disappear. Not die, of course, but go somewhere and be forgotten," she quickly clarifies while maintaining eye contact and when he nods, she looks at her lap.

"What's keeping you here," he asks, his voice low and almost secretive.

"My little brother and sister." Judith doesn't stop to think before she answers and he creases his brows at her response.

"So," he drones, unsure how to form his next question. She lifts her dark browns onto his. "If you didn't have them?"

"I'd be dead." He draws in a breath as his hands slide up his thighs from his knees, and his eyes wander onto the notes he'd left in his chair. She scans his posture with her irises bouncing up and down, a curious disposition evident on her innocent, tear-stained face. "What?"

"I think Red Cave is the best option for you," he hesitates while looking at her. He watches her eyes widen in horror as the confession leaves his mouth.

"No," she mumbles, shaking her head simultaneously. She pushes herself off the bed and stands over him. "You said - you wouldn't send me there."

"No, I didn't say that." He tilts his head and raises his brows as he rushes to defend himself. She staggers in front of him as her heart pounds harder, adrenaline fighting the drugs in her system. "I said I would try to get you out of here soon if you talked to me and I'm a man of my word."

"You tricked me," her voice cracks and he pulls his lips into a straight line, almost nonchalantly. Judith hangs her head and allows her mind to unravel what's occurring. While she does, he turns his back to her and walks toward his chair.

I'm an idiot. Oh, my God, I can't believe I -

She watches him continue to the door with his notebook and pen in his left hand, and when he places his right hand on the door, she says, "I trusted you. I told you about my brother, my Grandmother, my Dad - even my ex. I told you everything and you sat there and listened just to tell me you're sending me to an asylum?"

"Miss. Jefferson, I didn't," he starts to speak with his head slightly veering to look across his shoulder but she interrupts.

"Fuck you." She takes a step toward him, her fists curling at her sides. He bends at the hip and knits his eyebrows at her, his confusion countering her wrath. "You tricked me! I have a sister that needs me and a brother who's here right now probably going to Red Cave too."

"Then you'll see him when you get there. As for your sister, she has family that'll care for her, I'm sure," he argues and she scoffs in disbelief, her eyes refusing to dim.

"Are you kidding me? Kids are separated from adults." He doesn't respond. Instead, he drops his gaze onto her socks and she narrows her eyes. "Have you seriously never been there? You're sending me to a building you've never stepped foot in?"

"I've seen Polaroids and moving pictures of the grounds, staff, and patients, so I have a clear understanding of what goes on." Her mouth hangs open by three inches as she stares at him. "You'll see him when your morning orderlies walk you through the building. Bikram yoga, breakfast, lunch, and dinner. You're also allowed to sit outside by a fountain."