"Yes?"
"I- I um- well, you- I-"
"Listen, kid, the campers' cabins are on the other side." He points behind him. "Now, move, yeah?"
"That isn't it!"
"Then what is it?" He still has that same bored tone.
Finally, the words I've been meaning to say spi...
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I kiss Mason goodbye, still shaking like a leaf.
"I love you, Mase. See you this weekend."
"I told Noah to take care of you for me." He squeezes me. "Be nice to him."
The smile threatens to push past my frown. It doesn't make it. I'm too shaken up right now to smile more than I'm smiling for Mason.
Dad agreed. I scared him, and he agreed.
I get into the passenger seat of my car. I still can't even think about driving right now. Truth is, I think I might swerve on purpose if I try.
Noah just holds my hand as I sob like a baby.
The idea that I've been tricked is wandering around in my head, and it's driving me insane. I know I need to calm down, but every tear I never let spill before is suddenly ambushing me.
It's a release I'm grateful for, but embarrassing. A part of me feels like I should be all lovey-dovey with Noah after how good he played his moral support role. Had he not come, I think I would have never made it through that threat I fed my dad.
After fifteen minutes straight of crying, I suck all my boogers back up my nose and wipe at my eyes. A sigh escapes me as I swallow.
"Okay, I'm done." I mumble. Noah's gaze lands on me. He's wearing an amused smile that makes me laugh a little. I can't help but flail my arms. "What?"
"Nothing. I just think that you suddenly deciding that your feelings are no more is really cute. Funny and cute."
"Cute and funny." I say, pretending to ponder the words I've flipped around for comedic effect. Although, I'm not feeling funny, so it doesn't sound right.
We drive the rest of the way, completely silent. I don't think there really is any other way to do things seeing as... well, after what's happened, it would be sufficiently weird to say we celebrated by making out.
As soon as we're back to the cabin, I head off for my room. Right now I just need to rest. This has all been exhausting. Speaking both mentally and physically.
It's when I pull my blankets over me that I really register that tomorrow is my birthday. And that means the day after that is Mom's birthday.
She used to tell me that I was by far her most favorite birthday gift she'd ever received.
I have this one picture from the day she first told me that. I was maybe five, and she's leaning down close to my ear. That was what she whispered to me. That I'd been the best gift.
Sometimes, if I'm really sad, I'll let myself wonder if she'd planned what she did by the time that picture was taken. It was a mere one and a half years before, but it may have crossed her mind by them. Something like that has got to be daunting thought you take a ages to process.
