Hold me tight

4.

4. Take a shot

I walked inside to the bar, a strong scent of alcohol was flying everywhere. People sitting, drinking, laughing and almost felling asleep on the chairs and booths.
But the night was young, like Joonas explained while we walked here. Suddenly I started to feel anxious, those creepy men were staring at me like I was a snack. Joonas was walking in front of me, but I went closer to him, right now he was my protective wall.
We arrived to the right booth were everyone else were sitting already, I can tell you it was a big one.
"Sit there." Joonas pointed an empty place next to that black haired man. I looked at the blonde one, like confused.
He looked me back, and placed his hand carefully on my shoulder.
"I sit next to you, don't worry. I don't want you to sit on the edge." He looked at me gently.
I frowned to him.
"Why?" I questioned.

He leaned closer to my ear.
"You feel safer between me and Aleksi, believe me." He said with quieter tone. Then gently he pushed me by my shoulder, so I sit next to that man. I scooted closer to him so Joonas could also fit here.
Quickly my gaze wandered to Aleksi, and he gave me a very sweet smile. I smiled to him back, and then the drinks were landed in front of us in the middle of the table.
Across from me sat Eevi, and she just smiled to me.
I think I'll be fine here. Nothing bad will happen.

"To us, to summer and.. to our new friend." Niko raised an toast, and they all cheered around me. I just kept a strong grip on that glass of beer while I looked everyone in turn. Then they all took a sip, so I did the same. A bit confused first.
New.. friend? Me?

"So, Saga. Tell about yourself." The blonde singer, Joel, asked from the other side of the table.
No, not that question.
Again, my gaze was wandering around and I tried to find an answer. Or an escape?
I think I can't escape tonight.

"Well uhm.. I am twenty-six, I live alone with my couple dead plants and.. don't know what else to say..." I nervously told them, and I felt so stupid.
Oh wow, they probably think what a freak I am.
I'm not an interesting person, I just know it by looking at their faces.

"What are you doing for living?" Aleksi asked next to me, I looked at him quickly and then my eyes landed on Eevi. Like I tried to find help.
She opened her mouth and tried to find the right words.
"You don't have to tell them." She smiled lightly and then took a long sip of her beer.

"You're a stripper or something?" Joonas joked then, I rolled my eyes and sighed deeply.
I turned my eyes on him, he had like hopefully smile on his face.
"In your dreams." I mumbled. I saw how everyone around me grinned widely, Niko was giggling again.
Joonas looked like he was amazed or something, I don't know.

Beer after another, jokes after another. This night was turning better and better. But still I was feeling like I'm in a black hole.
It felt like that voice in my head didn't let me have fun, it wanted me to go home and sleep deeply, alone.
I took the last sip of my beer, I don't know how many I have drank already. I patted Joonas' shoulder gently, he was leaning against the table with his hands. His blue eyes landed on me, and he looked at me waiting for what I had in mind.
"I'll go to the restroom." I mumbled to him, and he nodded and stood up so I could get up.
The world made a huge spin around me and my feet were weak. Fastly I took support from Joonas, accidentally. He hold me up.
"You good? Will you manage to go there alone?" He asked.
That question annoyed me. He thinks I can't go there alone just because I'm drunk?
I just gave him a murdering gaze and continued my way to the right direction. I could feel his eyes on my back.

I washed my hands, and then I looked myself from the mirror in front of me. I took a deep breath.
How am I supposed to survive the whole night with these guys, and with alcohol? I think I'll just give up and go home, my mood isn't getting any better.
I was alone and I heard the rock music playing on the other side. I closed my eyes and I felt how my hands were shaking and sweating. I felt like throwing up because of the nervousness.
My body was giving up, and I started crying.
I tried to be quiet, not like anyone could hear me, but if someone would walk in right now, it wouldn't be nice.
I covered my mouth with my hand, and those tears kept coming out of my eyes.
"Fucking stop..." I sobbed quietly to myself.
I heard someone coming in, and for a moment that music sounded louder.
Fastly I wiped my tears away and I took deep breaths, then I splashed some cold water to my face.
"Saga? You okay?" It was Eevi.