Hold me tight

21.

21. I thought you were better than this

"It's been a week.. you should go home, I'll be fine..." Eevi mumbled from the couch where she was laying down, wrapped in a blanket.
I walked from the kitchen, drying my hands to my jeans. I was making some food for us, boys has been on festivals, they have interviews and much stuff to do. So, after Eevi left the hospital, I've stayed here in her's and Olli's apartment, taking care of her and.. maybe because I wouldn't feel so lonely.
I was standing in front of her, crossing my arms against my chest. She stared the tv with tired eyes, nothing interesting came from there. She looked like a zombie.

"They come back tonight, only few hours so I'll stay." I said determinedly. Eevi looked at me with her side-eye, not being impressed of what I just told her.
I sat down on the couch, further away from her.
"You want me to leave..? It's totally fine." I continued, she sighed quietly and rubbed her head.

"I just.. Olli has been different. Yes, he sents me a good night text every night and asks if I'm okay. He hasn't called.. I miss his voice and..." She struggled with her words, being frustrated. I frowned worried.
She turned her head fully to look at me.
"He's not okay, I know it. I have asked him about it, but he doesn't answer to that question." Her voice shaked a bit.

"Tonight you'll know. I will stay until he walks in from that door." I pointed towards the hallway, she tried to smile.
She tilted her head a little bit, studying me.

"You've been different too, in a good way. You seem to be happier." She smiled, I smiled and looked to my feet.

"I don't want to talk about my things when -" I tried to talk, but she stopped my words before I finished.

"Don't. You have all the rights to tell why you're happier. Don't think about my problems, they're just mine and.. Olli's. So, tell me." She sat up, then putting her hair on a messy bun while I stared at her smiling shyly, not knowing where to start.

"Well.. we kissed with Joonas." And when I said that, Eevi gasped shocked, but she started smiling.
"We were drunk, remember that." I chuckled and tried to calm her down. She shook her head smiling.

"I knew that you and Joonas have chemistry, I'm never wrong with these things. And you dared to say that you two have nothing!" She smirked frowning, I sighed but still smiled.
I shrugged my shoulders.

"He told me so sweet things in the next morning.. I thought that those things happen only in movies." I daydreamed while watching the black walls, but my eyes catched one picture. There was Eevi and Olli, they were walking and clearly laughing, looking at each other and holding hands.
They looked so happy in there.
We were silent for a minute, I think Eevi saw me watching that picture of them.
"I think we have been planning the weddings so much with Olli that we've forgotten to take care of ourselves more. He was very happy at spring when they were on America and Europe, touring and living his dream life.. a life he has always wanted. I remember when we were young, he talked how he wants to tour the world and play bass on a cool band." Eevi broke the silence, her eyes were on that picture too when I looked at her.

"And I'm so happy and proud of him. I love seeing him on stage, doing what he loves the most. And of course seeing my brother on the same stage." She smiled.

"What about you? What is your dream?" I questioned, making her silence.
Slowly her gaze landed on me, then she looked at her engagement ring and touched it.
"I've always wanted to be a wife one day, to a man who I love the most. And, your dream?" She looked at me under her eyebrows.
I opened my mouth a bit, trying to answer.
But I didn't get a word out. I swallowed loudly.