Hold me tight

27.

27. Ask me to be yours, and I will say yes

I was sitting on a bench at the hospital. I've waited and waited here for about five hours. I was hungry, thirsty and tired. But all of that didn't matter.
The love of my life got hitted by a car, nothing else matters, only that she will survive. Apparently when paramedics arrived to the street where Saga lives and where the accident happened, she told them that they should call to me. And they did. It was the worst call I have ever got.
And then I immediately left the studio, leaving Joel and Niko there. They were confused first, but when I fastly told them what has happened, they wanted to come with me.
And they did. First Niko called to Eevi, she was shocked. Of course, we all are.
And suddenly we're all here. The whole band and Eevi. We're all that Saga has.
I haven't talked to anyone for the past hours, I've been just sitting here and imagining the worst.

Niko walked next to me and handed me a coffee, first I didn't react. But when I smelt the fresh drink, I looked at it tired.
"You need it, take it." Niko said, but I didn't look up at him. With my cold and shaking hand I wrapped my hand around the warm cup, but Niko didn't trust to my hand. He kneeled down and hold it as well, he forced me to look at him.
His green and worried eyes were scanning my face.
"Joonas.. she's going to survive." He said quietly, stroking my leg. I didn't react.
"You can't promise that." Eevi said with her weak voice next to Olli. Niko sighed.

"I can't. I know. I just want him to feel better." Niko said, finally letting go of the mug. Now I hold it alone. But I didn't drink from it.

"Nothing makes me feel better.. only if.. she survives..." I finally spoke after few hours. My voice was raspy and tired.
I felt everyone's eyes on me, they all were silent.
Niko stood up and sat next to me to my left, Joel was sitting on my right side, and he had pretty relaxed position as always. Tommi sat next to Niko, his hands crossed against his chest. He has been quiet too. Eevi was sitting between Joel and Olli, Aleksi sat next to Olli. I saw that Joel's right leg was shaking, and so did Eevi's. But I was just freezed, I didn't have any interest to move or anything. I can't leave even to the bathroom, I just want the doctor or nurse to come and tell us something. And I can't miss that.
But I did as Niko told me to, I took couple of sips from that coffee. I think Niko was watching at me.
One door opened, all of our gazes were on that tall woman who had a long and white jacket. She was a doctor. We all sat there, taking a better position.
We all waited for her hopefully.
But all of that for nothing, she just walked past us and gave us a small smile. We all sighed disappointed. She wasn't the right doctor.

"When are they going to tell us something?" Aleksi questioned worried, we all just shrugged our shoulders. Well, I didn't. I had a bad feeling in my stomach, my head was hurting from this stress.

We waited for ten minutes and sat there in silence, one doctor was walking towards us further away. I stared that middle-aged man with my side-eye, not being sure if he was the savior who would tell us something. His steps slowed down when he reached us, we all lifted our heads up. He opened his mouth and immediately I stood up while Niko was trying to keep me down.
"Joonas Porko?" The man asked, I nodded.

"I am.. my friends.. I mean mine and Saga's friends wanted to come too..." I explained mumbling. He nodded and took a quick look on everyone.
He was holding some papers in his hands which he stared and then started talking.
"I'm Saga's surgeon. Four of her ribs were broken and she had internal bleeding. She has severe concussion and couple of her teeth fell out. Also her right hand is broken from two points." The surgeon told us, and I was holding my breath in shock.
I can't even imagine the pain she's having.
"Can we go look at her?" I asked, my voice being shaky.
The man looked at us all serious behind his glasses.
"She's very weak and still sleeping, her condition is critical.. but yes, you can go to see her. Follow me." He said and we all let out a sigh of relief. But what made my heart skip two beats, was the fact that her condition is critical.  The rest of the group stood up as well and we all followed the surgeon.
I felt Joel's hand on my shoulder.
"Everything will be alright, okay?" He said and I just gave him a small nod.