Hold me tight

13.

     13. Dangerous game

"I'm going to sleep here good, don't worry." Joonas smiled to me as he sat on the couch. I just nodded and stared at him, not even noticing it first. But when he raised his eyebrows to me, fastly I started to make my way towards Eevi's and Olli's bedroom, I would sleep on their bed, but with new sheets of course.
And before I closed the door behind me, Joonas said my name quietly. I don't know why he whispered, it was only the two of us and Figaro.
I stopped, waiting for him to continue.
"Good night." He then said as quietly too. It made me smile a bit, he didn't see it. It was getting dark.
"Good night." I replied back and then closed the door.

I wrapped myself around the blanket and hit my head on the pillow, being tired. I checked my phone quickly before closing my eyes, I fell asleep fast.

I felt someone's touch on my shoulder, it woke me up. I opened my eyes and turned to lay on my back, it was middle of the night and Joonas was standing next to the bed. I was confused to be honest, why he was there, and why he woke me up?
I had to blink few times and I also rubbed my eyes.
"What is it?" I asked with my raspy voice. He didn't answer first, just stood there.
"I.. didn't get any sleep. I wanted to know if.. I could sleep here.. if it's too weird I understand..." He mumbled nervously.
Without any hesitation I moved a bit so he could lay down next to me. I don't know why I did that, it felt like I had no control with my body.
I was feeling confused. I saw he hesitated first too, first he sat on the bed and then slowly let his body to lay down.
I was feeling so tired, I closed my eyes and let myself try to sleep again. But he came closer, I heard and felt that, but I wasn't opening my eyes.
First, I felt his hand around me. I swallowed.
Then I felt his breath close to my face, it made me sweaty. But I didn't dare to open my eyes.
I was feeling scared.
"Sleep, my love..." He whispered to my ear before I felt a very sharp feeling in my stomach.
I opened my eyes and let out a groan, the blanket was bloody. I moved it away and I saw how I was bleeding, Joonas still keeping the knife deep into me.
I looked at him, he was smiling.
He wanted to see me die.

I flinched awake, being fully anxious and sweaty.
I took deep breaths and sat up, looking around and checking that was I really bleeding, did he really stab me.
It was a dream. I let out a long sigh of relief.
I checked my phone's clock, it was getting ten in the morning.
My eyes widened open when I realized that there was a puppy to take care of. I jumped off from the bed and fastly put some jeans on, then heading out of the bedroom.
But when I reached the kitchen, I saw Joonas sipping coffee at the table, and Figaro was peacefully sleeping near him.
He looked up at me smiling, I was still feeling weird because of the dream, or a nightmare.
Before I had the chance to say anything, Joonas spoke up first.
"I went to a little walk with him couple hours ago, then he ate and now he's been sleeping for a while."

He stood up then and poured some coffee for me too and then placed the mug to the table. I was speechless, but I took a seat across from him. I wrapped my hands around that mug, I felt so stupid again.
I was blaming myself. What I was thinking when I promised to Eevi and Olli to take care of their new puppy? The amount of responsibility is so huge, I can't even take care of myself!
I sighed and then covered my eyes with my right hand, trying to calm myself down.
I bit my teeth together, I wanted to do so much more but I couldn't, Joonas is here too.
My hand started shaking, so I took it off from my face and tried to hide it under the table.
Accidentally my eyes landed on Joonas, he was already looking at me, worried.

"Do you have cigarettes..?" I asked humble. First he looked at me confused, like he freezed for a second.
But he only shook his head, it made me even more anxious. My leg started shaking, I bit my lower lip.