When Love Is War.

23

Sarayu Hassan

"After commemorating the acclaimed 100th-day mark of the present administration Nigerians are yet to come down from the high of the president's speech. Women are especially pleased because the commitment of this present administration to women and girls has been reiterated. Even sceptics are pleased at the strides this present administration has taken during the first hundred days in office. "

My head snaps up from the work I was doing on my laptop to my television screen when I hear Timothy's voice through the speakers in my office as the video on the large LED screen transitions from the reporter speaking in the studio to Timothy during his 100th-day in office commemoration ceremony.

"My first 100 days in office have been spent laying down the foundation and putting the right systems in place for the next four years and beyond so we can build the Nigeria of our dreams.
Good systems trump bad people, it roots them out and leaves no room for them to hide", he says.

I tune out the rest of his speech as he goes on to list the strides they have made so far. I am very proud of Timothy, and I think all Nigerians at home and abroad are proud of this administration. All the appointments that have been made so far are very impressive, we now have top fliers in their respective industries leading our various ministries. I never thought I would see the day when there would be so much organisation and transparency in the governance of this country. It felt too good to be true, it was a dream come true and like any dream, it was not without sacrifice. Only time could tell if the sacrifices we all made to reach this point was worth it, only time could tell though.

Later in the day, I was taking a nap with baby Miriam cuddled by my side when my ringing phone startled me out of my beauty sleep. I could already feel a headache forming but I picked up the phone only to hear Laila's panicked voice asking me if I had seen the news today.

"What happened? ", I asked.
"You have not heard? ", she asks me.
" Layla, answer my question", I say beginning to panic. I just knew something was wrong but never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined what she told me next.
"Timothy's convoy was attacked, one of the cars were rigged with a bomb and it exploded an hour into their journey farther north. There is nothing on the news about Timothy's whereabouts so I thought you would know", Layla narrates.
At that point, my eyes had started to fill up with tears.
" I did not even know he was travelling, why would he travel by road?", I ask barely managing to get the words out past the lump in my throat.
"I don't know babe".
" Layla please come, I need you", I cry.
" Sarayu, please just try to calm down. I drove to your place but they would not let me in, you guys are on lockdown. I think the best thing for you to do now is to call Zainab, she will probably know more about the whole situation ."
I nod forgetting Layla can not see me and quickly cut the call.
I dial Zainab's number, she does not pick the first two times but she picks on the third ring after what seems like an eternity.
" Have you heard from Timothy", I ask before she has a chance to speak.
" I haven't spoken to him yet, I'm in Lagos for Jumoke, my cousin's wedding. Just calm down, a lot is happening right now and I can't seem to get a hold of anyone but just hang in there", she tries to assure me.
" Zainab I'm scared, please what do you know".
" I know you are scared but just hang in there. I don't know anything for sure but what I do know is that there is a chance he did not travel by road. He planned to, he said he wanted to see the roads but his security team was against it".
As we said our goodbyes I hoped against hope that he was not on those roads today. I could not lose Timothy, I was not going to lose him.

Almost five hours after I first got Layla's call the children and I received another call. We were all sitting in my bedroom in anxious silence with the news running in the background when my phone rang. It had been five aggravating hours of worry for all of us, even Miriam was quiet. I cried tears of relief when I heard Timothy's voice, I quietly listened as he assured the children that he was fine, they should go to bed and he would see them in the morning.

Now I am sitting in my bedroom alone drinking wine on an empty stomach with my anxiety building by the minute while the children sleep peacefully in their respective rooms. I had been waiting for Timothy since we spoke earlier and now it was almost midnight, "he should have been here by now and I told him to come straight here", I think working myself up.

The door creaks open and I run into Timothy's tired arms crying again, it seems like that is all I have done all day.
"I was so afraid", I whimper barely able to recognize my voice.
" I'm sorry", he answers
"I've missed you, I love you", I say between sobs.
" I love you too", he says kissing the top of my head and I forget why I was angry with him in the first place as we get lost in each other.