When Love Is War.

13

Sarayu
17th July, 2020.

love doesn't die ,it grows, it changes, it adapts,it evolves, it's sometimes magnified. It may be amplified but that doesn't mean it was any less than it was when it wasn't.

During the past few months my relationship with Timothy has become almost unrecognizable. It's funny how someone can be your everything in one moment and then in the next you are perfect strangers. Timothy and I hardly see these days even when he is home. In the past few days i have seen more of him on television and on my phone then I've seen him in months. Since he officially announced his presidential aspirations my phone has been blowing up. My step mom and sisters have called, like actually called not sent me a message on my birthday or during the holidays like we have done since my father's passing roughly ten years ago. Old friends from University and Secondary School are sending messages through social media and the few that have my number are calling. I have been seriously thinking of getting a personal assistant because I cannot spend my precious time replying fake friends looking for favours.
Gloomy toughts aside I am in celebration mode today because it's Jason's birthday and his graduation is in a week. Mrs Sunday and I have been cooking up a storm, so everything is ready on time for his birthday/celebratory dinner.
My emotions have been all over the place because I am happy to be celebrating my baby turning eighteen as well as his excellent results but at the same time my stomach is in knots as they always are when we have these family gatherings with Timothy and Zainab. I have forgiven Timothy and Zainab but it does not make it any easier to see the man you love and his pregnant wife. At least Layla and Sade will be there along with their families. Timothy insisted on inviting a few family friends and this is giving me major cause to worry because half of them are Timothy's friends who don't even like me. Since the wedding we haven't interacted with these 'friends', people's reactions bother me because today is not about us and our drama but about Jason and his accomplishment. It's so sad to me that his senior year is in the shadow of talk about his father.
"Ma you should go and get ready the guest will soon be arriving, I can handle what is left of the preparation", Mrs Sunday spoke cutting through my thoughts.
"Thank you", I simply answered while washing my hands.
I called Jason on my way up stairs to make sure that he was heading back home. Last I saw him was at breakfast , he has been hanging out with his friends at the cinema last I checked. I was keeping up with his birthday hangout activities on social media. I wonder if I'm the only parent that does that. I also checked Benjamin's room to ensure that he was getting ready.
When I finally stood under the spray of hot water I was sore all over and regretting not catering this event. Even with the house keeper and two maids helping out I was still feeling stressed.
I ended up spending too much time in the shower, so I had to hurry through applying my cream, and putting on my flowy dress that had spaghetti straps and fell below my knees. I was going for a dressy casual look so I put my braids in a ponytail and wore my favorite pair of sandals. I am hopeless in the make up department so I simply brushed my well carved brows, applied a bit of powder and lip gloss and I was good to go.
As i made my way down the stairs I spotted Timothy at the landing wearing a long sleeve plaid shirt and black trousers. He was checking his watch so he didn't spot me at once. By the time he spotted me I was already by his side, he looked up to me with a warm smile and for a minute it was like everything was just like old times. I was his and he was mine.
" You look gorgeous as always", he complimented and I begged my feeble heart to not be swayed. We where over, I was divorcing this beautiful man.
"How are you, you're looking a bit stressed", I replied deliberately refusing to acknowledge that he looked handsome regardless.
" Well the elections have not even started yet but the pressure is starting to build".
"We are praying for you" I answered truthfully.
" Well I need all the prayers I can get, thank you. Let's not keep our guest waiting", he said while offering me his hand.
To his surprise and mine I took his hand and followed him but not before warning him to keep the discussion away from politics.
The event was taking place in our backyard, I rented a small luxury tent that could take about fifty people even though we were expecting less. The decorators I hired did a beautiful job. The boys were waiting for Timothy and I at the entrance and all our guest were all ready seated. Our family entrance made quite the statement even if it was not planned. All eyes were trained at us till we made our way to our table.
Layla and Sade along with their husbands sat at the same table with us. Zainab was also present. Food was served, drinks flowed and everyone loosened up and began reminiscing about our graduation and high school days. Sade never failed to glare at Zainab everytime she made a comment in our conversation.
All in all the whole event was drama free, thank God. It all went better than i expected and God knows I needed it to go well. The adults retired after the evening and we left the teenagers to have some more fun. Obviously Sade and Layla did not leave alongside the other guests instead we gathered in my living room to chat.
"Sarayu if not for the eye you were giving me I would have called out that girl. We're talking about secondary school days and that small girl that just finished secondary school when is talking", Sade said ending with a hissing sound.
"Please Sade let's talk about something else, I don't want to talk about her matter", I answered her.
"Babe I don't understand you, why won't you fight..."
"Sade stop ruining our happy mood, she doesn't want to talk about it. Leave the matter, she's handling things in the best possible way she can", Layla answers successfully cutting Sade off.
We both knew where the conversation was headed and we also knew that I didn't want to go there.
"I think it's time to send those children home, they've had enough fun for today", I say because I would rather end the evening on this very blissful note than let it turn sour.
As I walked out on them I could hear Layla and Sade arguing but I could care less. The seed had been planted though so as I went through the motions of sending everyone home and preparing for bed the thought that plagued my mind was that was I doing right by myself and my family.Yes was my answer because i was not about to fight for someone who did not fight for me.
I still doubted myself though, "maybe I should have done more?", I thought.