Pride & Prejudice (ChanBaek)

51- D-Day

My footsteps are heavy...
Or may be my mind is.

I'm scared.
That's all I'm feeling right now.
What I'm most scared of is.... To see him hurt.
May be I did do something wrong.
May be I'm too dumb to realise what did I do wrong.
I guess....
I guess he found someone new.

I walk into the restaurant that he asked me to come and... I see him sitting there already.
He's ... early.

"Baekhyunee.... Sorry I am late right?" I say as I take a seat in front of him

"No, I'm early" he says and I watch him calls waiter

"This restaurant looks so fancy... haha..."

"I hope you like this." He says

Everything is just... so.... Awkward and... suffocating.
And this fancy restaurant is making me more.... Restless.

Just in a few minutes, waiters come out and start giving us food
So he ordered already.. huh.

"Last time, you said you wanted to eat this lamb dish from this restaurant." Baekhyunee says

"O...oh...." So that was this restaurant? He remembers... huh.... Is this a good sign?
Or...

"Baekhyunee..... I..."

"I am sorry" he says

"W...what? No... why w....."

"Let's.... End this..... now"

Baekhyunee..
It's you that is saying to break up but... why are you wearing that facial expression?
That is full of sorrow .... Are you pitying me?
So, this is what you want?
What is your reason?
Did I do something wrong?
Why do you want to break free from our relationship?
Do you find someone new?

"It's all my fault.....I'm sorry, Chanyeollie..." he says

Look at me in the eyes.. Baekhyunee.
Why are you tearing up?
Why are you saying sorry?

But.... No words come out of my mind

"Is this your final decision now?" That's the first words that come out of my mouth
And his eyes are widen by it.
Don't show me that you are hesitating... or I will not let you go ever...

".......yes...... it is" he says

"Thank you for the food." I say "You can just throw away my things at your house. That's not much but still.
Take care on your way back home, Director nim" I say and stand up

"Chanyeollie...."

"Excuse me"

Don't look back...
Don't look back now Park chanyeol...
If he doesn't want me anymore...
There is no way that I will keep bothering him and make him stress.
I just want to give him best things.. even if I have to leave him .... For him.

Why am I so.... Stupid?
I'm so... stupid.

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
With all thoughts... I went back home.
I didn't .... Cry ....
Or may be not yet.

I still can't believe... he really... wanted to break up with me.
Or was he acting and testing me?
Did I do... a mistake now?
Should I have clinging on him?

"Oh, chanyeol is back, honey" I can hear mom talking to dad

I don't want to say anything to anyone..
I'm... tired.

"Son, come eat dinner after shower" mom says

"Not today"

"Why son? Are you sick?"