Pride & Prejudice (ChanBaek)

61: As Always

You know what is the scariest thing in this world?
Life..... goes on.

I counted days.... Like for about a year.
After a year went by, I started to focus on things I needed to do.
Everything around me started to happen faster and faster.

So, seconds, hours, days, months..
seasons after seasons....

It's probably a lie.
No, it's a definite lie.
If I say, I don't think about him at all.

Like, sometimes, even a very small thing like while taking a bite on a random meal and he just pops up in my head.
Call me delusional....... I miss him.

But most of the time, I am busy.
It's not intentional but I really got a lot to do.
With my own plan and with chairwoman hand me over her business to me.

As I get busier, I avoid going back home.
The reason is not only because I am busy most times.
But, that house.........is just a ... memories box.

I went there like 2 to 3 times in a year for 2 reasons.
First is when I'm about to pass out from over working and second reason is...... when I miss him.. like a lot.

It has been 6 years.
Exactly 6 years now.

I kept my promise to him... and I think he might actually be keeping his promise too.
I never... stalked him. Not even once.
I try my best to avoid him as he requested when there are work matters.
And I guess he is too.

Isn't it funny?
People say the world is small that people actually run into each other like a miracle.
Haha..... so funny that we never did... not even once.. in this 6 years time.

In first few years, I was worried about him.
I was worried that he might be doing things like using drugs and going against his parents.

Later years, there were a lot of work loads for me that I try myself not to think about him that much.
That I tried to believe him that he will keep his promise.

Plus, this year, I had to do something... big or some major changes in my life. So, I'm very busy preparing.

As I said earlier, isn't it scary that life hurts goes on?
Where I thought I might not be able to handle things without him, where he might also felt the same as me when we ended things.

But we both.... Kept our own promises.

Am I happy now?

But..... what is happiness?
I think I lost it a long time ago.

I can't believe I'm 39 years old and Turning 40 next years.
Haha..... I'm just an old man without a happiness.

"Ya!!!"

"Fuck.... this is office.. you shithead"

"Byun baekhyun! Aren't you going back home today too?!" Oh Sehun is the only one who can barge in without me calling guards to pull him out of my company.

"Why is it your problem?"

"Director Byun, should I book a hotel for you for tonight?" Mr. Wu asks

"He has a fucking nice house and why would you book a hotel room for him!" Oh Sehun says

"That's not your case you shirhead" I told oh Sehun "I will just rest in office tonight too Jinho ya" I tell Mr. Wu.

"Jinho, then go buy us some alcohol.. beer is fine too.. no no.. buy us Soju.. I'm in mood for that" Sehun says

"And I'm not in the mood to drink so fuck off!" I say

"I'm staying here and drinking.. right, jinho ya" Sehun says