Trapped inside this madness

You're a liar.

It was another day. Another long day at work. Even if you've always tried to see the positivity in things you hated working for Reese. He didn't see you as a person - more like your little slave. Well, that's how you felt about him bossing you around, complaining about his coffee not being hot enough. The water not being cold enough. He didn't greet you in the morning - you remembered your second day, being politely and friendly - like your mother has raised you - you greeted him „Good Morning, Mr. Reese." Ugh. You will never forget his reaction. You boss couldn't even look at you. „Cappuccino." That's all he said.

Anyway the salary was fine, working for Gotham Enterprises was perfect for your CV and that's what you should concentrate on. But there was also something else to focus on. You had to admit your work performance wasn't 100% for today. You thought about your appointment this evening. Meeting the Doctor again. Whenever you found yourself thinking about Crane you saw his blue eyes in your mind. „Stop it, Y/N." you reminded yourself. Without success.

After you've finished your never ending work day you went home just to change your clothes. It took longer than you expected but yeah, you wanted to look fine. Comfortable but kind of elegant. Brushing your hair, checking your natural make up and pinching your cheeks now and then for the natural blush look.

Like the day before you got yourself a taxi to be driven to Arkham - again. Still feeling out of place. Your heartbeat increased and you couldn't really explain WHY. Sure, it was an important appointment, something and someone helping you to face and fight your fears but that wasn't the real reason why you were excited the whole day. You wanted to see Dr. Jonathan Crane again. It wasn't like you had a „crush" on him - that would be way too early. But that man had something interesting on him - not to forget he was incredibly handsome. And you also still had the feeling he hid something. Something dark. Gut feeling.

Right after entering the Asylum, following all the directions to Dr. Cranes bureau, you already saw him. Again. Shivers down your spine. „Miss L/N, I had the feeling you'd be early for todays meeting.", a little smile curled his lips. His blue eyes meeting yours. „Doctor Crane.", you nodded and greeted him going directly in his office. „How did you know I'd be quite early after being so... indecisive yesterday? I mean. Actually I thought about quitting. Again." - You lied. This meeting was the only reason to get up today - to be honest.

Crane raised an eyebrow, still smiling. „No reason to lie to me, Miss Y/N. You see.", he cleared his throat. Looking at you like looking right to your soul. „For me you're someone who hides her feelings. As you told me - you've been disappointed often, you only rely on your Mother and you think you're a book with seven seals." BOOM. Like he could read your mind. You ARE a book with seven seals and you are a brilliant actress. Hiding your feelings, your desires, dreams and fears. Always pretending to be someone else. To be happy and independent.

„But for me." he continued with a dark, smoky voice. „You are an open book. I can read you like I've read you a thousand times. You're a liar. And don't act like you're not. We both now that you couldn't wait to see me today. I guess... you've might even dreamed about me. I don't blame you. That's a frequent phenomenon - the patient is amazed by his or her psychiatrist. And let's not forget about your outfit. Completely different."

Your dry throat hurt. For him it seemed so easy to read you, to know what's going on in your head. He even realised you kinda dressed up for him. „Could I just get... a glass of water, please?", Crane poured a glass of water which you emptied in one draft. „Okay. Listen. Yes, I wanted to see you again. I... this whole situation is new for me, okay? I mean. Visiting a therapist. Asking for help. I...", you stumbled again. „I'm more fucked up than you could ever imagine."

„You have no idea, Miss L/N." You furrowed your eyebrows not knowing what he meant with his words. „Your biggest fear?" he now asked out of context. You expected him to ask about why you or your life is so ‚fucked up'. You just opened up a little, ready to tell him more - not everything but a little and he just changed the subject. „What? My biggest fear? Losing my mother.", that was easy to answer. „I love being alone and I can stand it. But I know that I'm not really alone or even lonely. But losing her would ruin me."

Crane concentrated on your eyes. He saw the fear inside of them and you could tell - he loved it. Seeing such a beautiful young woman filled with fear. „Anything else? Like spiders? Snakes? Or even bats?", you knew some people were afraid of them and especially of Batman. You saw him as a symbol of hope. Justice. It took a second. You hated spiders and screamed like a little girl seeing them but being fearful? Maybe a little bit. „Well, actua-"

„I want to introduce you to someone.", Crane interrupted you. „I bet you've heard of him. Scarecrow?" You nodded. Confused and kind of dizzy. Like you had something in your drink. You rubbed your forehead and didn't realised what happened right now. Crane sprayed something of his fear toxin in your face, put on the mask and waited for your reaction.

*Authors note*
I'm so sorry this chapter took so long. I've been busy but I try to post as often as possible! I hope you like this chapter - I'm a bit insecure about Crane already using his toxin but that's what I had in mind. Confusing his patient (AKA YOU!) and... well let's see what happens next! I know... a cliffhanger hehe. But a longer chapter this time!
Much love and thanks for reading. That really makes my day!