Trapped inside this madness

I need you.

Bruce didn't leave your side that night. He couldn't explain what it was himself, but he just liked something about you. He liked you and wanted to protect you. He made it personal and it was up to you to realise which man was really good for you. But unfortunately, you were someone who, despite all the negativity, was still attracted to danger. And as much as you enjoyed the quiet moments with Bruce, you were still attracted to Jonathan despite everything. Which had been completely crazy. But sometimes you couldn't explain your feelings. Part of you just hoped that Scarecrow was only this bad part of Crane and that his real self would eventually realise that he no longer wanted to use you as a test object. That he was done with his experiments on you. Hope never dies, right? 

When you woke up you found a handwritten note. I am sorry I had to leave. Wayne Enterprises does not run on its own unfortunately. Take some days off. As much as you need - I'll inform Reese. Take care of yourself and if you need something, let me know. - Bruce

Your cheeks turned red. He had a sweeping, beautiful handwriting and his presence had really helped you. You felt better and also the worry about Reese had disappeared for the moment. You could think in peace, rest and hopefully make a decision about what was right. Your reason screamed for you to tell Batman the true identity of Scarecrow. And that you should leave Scarecrow behind. But your heart was still in the way.

However, that was something you wanted to discuss today - in short and changed form - with Clara. You were hoping for some friendly advice. She was very interested in dating and her dream man. So you really hoped she could help you. You had never focused on that - if it worked out, you would give it a chance. However, you were never looking for a man. Probably also because of your numerous issues. If you couldn't even rely on your family or friends, how could you let someone into your heart? At least that was the thought before you met Jonathan. Because even though you resisted it at first, yes, you had somehow developed feelings for your psychiatrist. What a cliché. At the same time, however, there was now Bruce Wayne. He was kind, loving and attentive. He was there for you. If you had any sense, you'd have made your decision by now. Regardless of the fact that you couldn't be sure that Wayne was really interested in you. Maybe he was just being friendly. Because what was so special about you? You were just an ordinary woman. No special talents, no exciting life. You were boring and mentally damaged - who could want that anyway?

The self-doubt and thoughts that had always tormented you just wouldn't let go. No matter how you turned it around, no matter if you came to a positive conclusion - in the end, self-doubt got the upper hand. But now you had to shake all that off to do some more shopping and wait for your friend to visit. Luckily, the time went by so quickly that you were already waiting patiently for her.

It had been difficult with Clara. You called her your friend, but she was the one who always let you down, took advantage of you and only had time for you when she wanted something. You were all the more surprised that she had accepted you so quickly - always hoping that maybe she was genuinely interested in you and had noticed how much you had withdrawn.

As usual, she came too late. Something that usually drove you crazy. Your mother had taught you that punctuality equals respect - only rarely did you arrive unpunctual because of it. Clara, on the other hand, was always late - because everything else was more important than being in time. Another twenty minutes passed, during which you played on your mobile phone and looked at some old photos. A message from Jonathan popped up - something you hadn't expected. You hadn't heard from him since the incident and the small overdose of his fear toxin.

We need to talk about what happened. Do you have time? - JC

Speechless, you read the message several times in a row. That was all? You had to talk? He had poisoned you, endangered your life and that was all he could think of. Not one kind word, not one concerned word. Disappointment rose in you, but so did anger. You stared at the screen and answered impulsively - which was rarely a good idea.