The Big Secret

Stay

Luke kept asking questions but I couldn't answer him. I had no words for Conor and certainly none for Lizzie. Lizzie used me to get Conor, but what about Dylan? Why didn't I see it coming? No wonder why she was so quick to be by my side again. I had questions myself never mind what Luke was asking.

I tried to stay awake for the journey home but of course every long car journey when I'm not driving I fall asleep. Luke had a nap on the Ferry, luckily we made it in time for the last ferry. He looked so cute which I couldn't resist taking a photo of and uploading to Instagram. Which of course got some attention.

Majority of the drive after the ferry I stayed awake. I forgot how therapeutic driving in the dark was, I haven't done it in a while. "Its getting late, do you want to stay at mine?" Luke interrupted my singing. "No it should be ok I've still got my keys" I wanted to go home but didn't want to leave Luke after everything he's done today "only if you're sure, but you can have my bed and I'll sleep in the spare room."

We didn't get back until 1am. Not a single light was on in my house, it looked empty. I felt empty looking at it. "Luke?" he looked concerned. "Can I change my mind and stay with you tonight?" The biggest smile formed on his face even though his eyes looked really tired. "Only if you make breakfast in the morning" "deal" and with that he drove to his, he didn't even hesitate.

I've never been to his house, so I didn't know what to expect. "Sam will drop Elton round tomorrow anyway, so enjoy the peace now" he laughed but my face scrunched up. "My baby Elton, have I not told you about Elton?" He laughed. "My dog" "ohhh, I was going to ask about him, you never told me his name" I mirrored his laugh. "Which bag do you need tonight?" We looked in the boot and I couldn't remember what's in what box.

"Forget it, you can have my shirt and shorts tonight and then we'll figure it out when it's not dark" I followed him into the house. He shown me to his room and I awkwardly sat on the bed. "Try these and if not, take anything out the wardrobe or draws" I nodded as he threw some clothes at me, of course it was one of his shark t-shirts. "I'll be in the spare room if you need anything" I could tell he was tired and wanted to get to bed. "Night my little homewrecker" with that I was left with my own thoughts.

I quickly changed into Lukes clothes, which were quite fitted. Typical, as soon as I got comfy I needed the toilet. But no idea where it was. "What's up?" Luke didn't look happy that I opened his door "toilet" I flashed an innocent smile. "That one" he laughed and pointed to the door at the end of the hallway. "Thank you" I smiled.

When I finally got comfy again, my head began to spin. Every doubt I had about this baby, life and my rugby career daunted on me. I can't do this, I can't throw away everything because of Farrell. There was no way I was sleeping tonight. Everytime I shut my eyes I saw Conor, Luke and Owen. It's like I've created myself a love triangle. After everything I don't think I could ever be Conor's best friend again never mind anything else. I'm Owen's dirty secret and Luke is so cute I could never hurt him.

Maybe coming back here was a mistake, I should have stayed in Ireland and tried coaching there, moved city and started fresh. But I suppose people knew my name from the Ireland game. I gave up trying to sleep and tip toed downstairs, using my phone as torch so no light would wake up Luke.

Of course, a cup of tea makes everything better. I sat in Luke's conservatory staring out the windows, watching the stars. The world was silent, but my head wasn't. The moment I had with Conor is something I wanted for a long time, but not anymore. I'm not sure I even want him in my life.

"I wish I knew what to do" I mumbled. "Go to bed and sleep might be a start" Luke appeared in the doorway and I never jumped so fast in my life, nearly spilling my tea everywhere. "I thought you were asleep, sorry if I woke you" Luke didn't say much but just gave me a sympathetic look.

"I can't sleep and this was peaceful" I ran my finger around the cup. "Everything will work out in the end, I promise" his voice was sleepy. He took the cup out of my hands and wrapped his arms around me. As soon  as my face hit his chest I couldn't hold back any emotion, no matter how hard I tried.

"Erin, let's get you to bed" his voice instantly stopped my tears. I looked up at him, of course he towers over me. "It's ok, you go to bed, I'll be fine" I smiled as I wiped my now puffy eyes. "Do you really think I would leave you like this? On your own?" I could hear the annoyance in his voice. I shrugged and looked to the floor. "No I wouldn't, I'm here for the long haul baby, night or day" the word baby instantly gave me butterflies. I couldn't help but smile at him. Which he reciprocated and for a moment everything made sense.

Luke held my hand and guided me back to his room. "Here's the TV remote, if you can't sleep watch something" he handed me the remote as I climbed back into bed. "Just rest, the little one needs rest too" Luke headed towards the door and for some reason I didn't want him to leave.

"Luke" my voice barely audible, he turned to me "Stay with me?"