"It's Peter. Peter Stark." || a Trans Peter Parker fic

Chapter 28

Tony

Nat storms into the lounge, her face filled with rage and disappointment, she's pissed I know this. I can't pay any attention to her though. I'm zoned out of reality, every noise around me is muffled. Steve is trying to talk to her but she's yelling, not sure what either are saying though. My head is buzzing, I feel an anxiety attack coming on and I don't think I can fight it. What have I just done? What if he's truly gone? I've lost my son because i'm hellbent on being right. I was trying to defend and protect him... but i've only made things worse.

I walk towards the window, slowly taking it all in. I feel the glass crunch below my feet, it's scattered all over the place and I wonder if any hurt him when he jumped out. How could I have been this stupid? If I had just looked over at him in the fight maybe I would have noticed he was breaking. I could've stopped him. I could've tried to stop the argument and get him out of the situation! But I didn't. I failed as a father and now I might've lost him to this.

"STARK!" Natasha yells from behind me, no more muffled noises I hear everything happening, I see all that's been done. Steves passed out on the floor, I assume Nat and his fight got physical and she must have won. I don't know why she's yelling at me though, I was just trying to defend Peter, I'm not the homophobic asshat. I give her a look that says "i'm listening." and she goes on.

"What have you two done? I leave him with you two for ten minutes and he jumps out a window?!" She screams, "What is the big issue here! So what he likes Loki, he's reformed! Its fine!"

"I didn't do this Nat, Steve was the one that started this argument, not me." I say, trying to avoid getting screamed at any more to avoid my anxiety attack growing worse.

"BULLSHIT TONY!" she takes a deep breath, trying to stop her yelling. "Peter came to talk to me the other day."

I give her a curious look asking her to continue. Recently Nat has been the only person Pete's been willing to talk to about anything, it hurts knowing he doesn't feel safe coming to me or Steve anymore. I don't blame him though, everytime he sees us we're fighting. Everytime I'm with him alone I end up talking about how mad I am at Steve and I wonder if Steve does the same about me, saying Peter has spent any one on one time with him since his coming out.

"He asked me to stop putting up this fight with Steve. He said he was tired of all the meaningless fighting. He sees no use in it because he knows Steve will never change his mind. He told me he accepted the fact that Steve wouldn't accept him, and that he'd put up with it. He just wants things to go back to the way they were with you three." Nat explains, calmly this time.

I feel tears swelling up in my eyes, I'm starting to cry and forcing myself to hold them back. I'm not a guy who cries in front of people if I can avoid it. I want things to go back to the way they were too, but I don't believe it's possible. There's clearly been too much damage done... If he had just accepted Peter none of this would've happened. The really screwed up part about all of this is that I still I still love Steven, even after all he's done to hurt my son, and to hurt me. I still love him deep down. That's why I never went through with the divorce... I can't leave him. I'm still clinging to all the times before. When just the three of us would watch weird movies on friday nights, when we just lived at the house. The day Peter was brought to our door by his Aunt May. The day Peter found out about Ben was one of the worst days of his life. He didn't speak for days, he hardly moved. And since then May hasn't made any effort to see him, the whole thing broke him for months. That was when Steve and I both decided to give up avenging for awhile to take care of Peter, we knew he wasn't okay. Especially after May attempted suicide shortly after Ben's death. Peter was never the same after those three months. The month Ben died was awful and then a month and a half later he almost lost May too. May doesn't even know that Peter is Peter, because she hasn't been involved in almost two years. I still cling to those times when Steve was there for him when I didn't know how to handle the situation. I'm still hanging on to the father he used to be. He used to care so much, he used to do whatever it took to keep Peter safe and happy. I don't know what happened to the Steve I married, but I want him back. I'm hopeful somehow that I'll get the old him back.

I look at Steve laying on the floor unconcious. "How hard did you hit him?"

"He's a super soldier, I hit him as hard as I could." She responds.

"Maybe we should take him up to the medbay then. You can throw a nasty punch." I laugh a little, the buzzing anxiety has faded for the most part. The fight is done, and from now on I'll try to make sure there aren't any more. Our main focus has to be on finding Peter. He's my son and I need him back. I need him to know I love him and that none of this is his fault.

Words: 990
Published: 4/6/2022