"It's Peter. Peter Stark." || a Trans Peter Parker fic

Chapter 34

Peter - April 8th 2017

The plane comes to a stop at the departure spot at the airport closest to the cabin. I'm sitting across from Happy on my dad's private jet. I still gaze out the window, my thoughts running effortlessly in my mind. What if Dad is mad at me? What if while the whole time we're here we're just fighting? What if this trip only makes things worse? Has he been talking to Pops at all since I left? If he has been talking to Pops, what about?

"Peter." Happy says, putting my thoughts to a halt.

"Yeah?"

"We're here, are you ready to go?"

I look out the window once more. I might be ready, but I'm not completely sure. This whole situation is such a mess and I don't know how to navigate it.

I decide not to say anything and just nod in response. I unbuckle my seat belt and get up from my seat.

"Our bags are in the car already." Happy states.

"Oh. Okay." I say solemnly. Am I really prepared for this? To see Dad after I treated him so horribly?

I walk behind him off the plane, slowly making my way down the steps and into the car. The air is refreshing and it feels good to be outside, even if its just the 5 second walk to the car. It's cloudy out, might rain but who knows. It's a 3 hour car ride to the cabin, which im happy about because it gives me plenty of time to think every possible scenario through in my head. Once im in the car tears start escaping my eyes and fall down my face. I cup my face in the palms of my hands and silently cry as Happy starts the car. "Buckle up, kid. I know you're crying but you still need to wear a seatbelt."

I lift my head out of my hands, my vision blurry from the tears, and bring my seatbelt around my shoulder and over my waist and fasten it tightly. "Happy?"

He smiles into the rearveiw mirror so I can see it, "Happy Hogan." and then he starts driving. I stare out the window in a lost gaze. I wish things could go back to the way they were. I wish I never said anything. I wish I could fucking be normal! Why couldn't I have been normal? Everything would be perfectly fine if I was cis. Pops wouldn't have left, Id have friends (No... I don't really have MJ and Ned anymore, I shut them out after Harry died... probably wasn't my best decision but I doubt they'd be my friends after that so I have no one). Maybe that's the reason May gave me away... even back then I never acted like a girl and maybe that was the problem. There's too many what-ifs here and it breaks me to think about them but there's nothing else to thing about.

Next thing I know i'm half asleep with my head leaning against the window and rain falling down the side of the car. When did it start raining?

"Happy, how long have we been in the car?" I ask politely, I really don't want to bother him but I lost track of time and can't remember what time it was when we left the airport.

"We're 10 minutes away from the cabin, if that's what you're wondering." He replies.

Shit. I thought we've been in the car for a shorter amount of time. Hopefully this is a nice weekend.

We pull into the long gravel driveway, the rocks jumping up underneath the car, the rain is now coming down in downpour. Happy puts the car in park and for a moment im stuck in place. There's no thoughts running and Im frozen in place.

Dad comes running outside the second he sees the car. I don't move, I don't even unbuckle my seatbelt. Happy looks back at me confused and I don't know what to say.

I look past Happy to look out the windshield. Dad is just standing there in front of the car waiting for me to get out, I don't think he really knows what to do either.

"Peter, you okay?" Happy asks.

I unbuckle my seatbelt and pretend that everything is fine, "Yes, I'm fine." I say before opening the door and stepping out.