To My Dear Ex Boyfriend,

The Calm Before The Storm

I just want to say one thing before I see you again. I don't regret the nightmares and horrors you put me through. I don't regret our relationship. I don't regret the experiences you gave me. If it wasn't for you being such a narcissistic and manipulative person, I wouldn't have turned my life into what it is today. I wouldn't have quit my job and moved on in life. I would have never had a comforting hug from a guy who tried flirting with me for months before our breakup. I would have never said yes to going on a date with him. It's because of you that I met the man who treats me like a goddamn queen. But it is also because of you that I'm much more cautious this time around. I will never fall for another you. My mother actually approves and loves this guy. He's been to my house more than once, unlike you. He messages my mother on his own and plans on wishing her a happy birthday in a few days. He interacts with my family and they all love him, where they all rightfully hated you. So thank you for treating me like utter dumpster scum. It is because of you that I changed for the better. I became a better, more understanding person after getting out of my relationship with you.

So, to end it all, can't wait to see you in a few days! If your pea sized brain can't comprehend, that is sarcasm. I hope you take a deal, admitting you owe me money and will pay it. Even if I lose the case, at least I'll have the satisfaction of knowing you had to take how many days off to accommodate court. Tell your new girlfriend to listen to 'Cowboy Casanova' by Carrie Underwood. She'll understand what I mean since she already broke up with you once. Or maybe she won't since she agreed to date you again. See you soon!