To My Dear Ex Boyfriend,

The Profit

Okay let's see how much all this is worth. It's been a week and one day since I took possession of your items. Let's see how much I've sold and made back of the $3,902 you owe me.

Harry Potter Pez Dispenser: Sold for $15 

Dining Room Table and Chairs: Sold for $40

Three Horror Movie Funko Pop!s and a Sub-Zero Funko Pop: $50 

Toaster Oven: $30

Vegetable Cart: $30

Chaise: $20

Nintendo 3DS (with case, games, and accessories): $120

Topps 2013 Complete Collector Set of Football Cards (open box): $10

Nightstand (the one your sister freaked out about): $20

Nintendo Switch Joy Cons: $30

Now let's review the items I gave away/destroyed/recycled.

Grogu Funko Pop!: Given Away

Your bed frame: Recycled

Dresser with busted drawers: Destroyed and burned. Did you know what was left in the drawers? That's how I know you brought it from the old house because I found two cards addressed to your mother and father congratulating them on their new baby boy, YOU! Guess what? I burned those! And I also found a priceless memory in the box from the attic with your baseball figures. A photo of you, your mother, your sister, and your father riding the log flume at the amusement park. Well, I know your mother is dead. And the photo joined her. Watching the purple plastic bubble on the plank of wood as it burned, the picture curling on top of it and disappearing into ash. 

Now before I'm called cruel and mean, this man ruined my life. He put me through so much mental anguish. To this day I still have nightmares, moments where I freak out if something is mentioned and brings back memories, fear traveling anywhere because he knows where I live, work, and the car I drive, and I live with the damage every day. He deserves what he got. Every last bit of it.