Love Again ✔

12. Effort

Do not hate me.

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Rose:

Last night was the last of our study sessions. I'm sad Maddox no longer needs me to tutor him, because that means we won't have an excuse to meet. But I guess friends don't need excuses anyway, because I've been seeing so much of Maddox lately and little of that time do we actually study. He's been as wonderful as he could be. Always patient and understanding and sweet. Thankfully, I haven't had any more break downs.

He also gets me a cupcake every morning now, because he 'doesn't spoil me enough.' He walks me to every first lecture I have everyday because he wakes up early for practice anyway so I always find him at my door every morning.

Today is his big game. I tried to convince myself to go and watch him play, I really did. Because he has been so supportive and I want to be the same for him. But every time I even think about sitting in the bleachers surrounded by a huge amount of people, my anxiety reaches its peak and I feel my throat closing up and I find myself on the verge of vomiting. So I've decided to compromise.

I'll go right before the game starts, meet him by the locker rooms where they get ready, and wish him luck, then hurry back to the safety of my dorm. I didn't discuss my plan with him, though, because I want it to be a surprise.

We had lunch at BLUES earlier, the cozy diner I'm now addicted to, before he had to leave for an urgent meeting before preparing for his game.

I walk back to my dormroom and get ready in a white, long sleeved dress that reaches a little above the middle of my thighs and knee high velvet black boots because it's still chilly at night. I grab my coat and my purse before walking through campus to where everyone else seems to be heading. I keep my head down and my body far from the crowd as much as possible, my palms already getting sweaty by the second.

But it's okay. I can do this. I can be a good, supportive friend to the best person I know. And nothing will stop me this time. Not even my head.

The more I walk, the louder it gets. People wearing green Jerseys to match with the players are everywhere talking and laughing loudly amongst each other. On my right is a long queue that leads to the area where people can buy drinks and snacks to enjoy during the game. On my left is the entrance where friends look for the best seats through the bleachers.

I find two girls who look decent enough, I guess, standing on the side. They're probably waiting for the rest of their company. I anxiously and carefully make my way over. "Ex-excuse me?"

They turn their heads in my direction and give me a smile. The taller of the two speaks first. "Can we help you?"

"C-can you please t-tell me where the l-locker rooms are?" I stutter again like an idiot and frown once my sentence is finally over.

I see their eyes soften for a moment before the other girl points to the opposite direction from where we're standing. "Right through there. But the players don't usually agree to talk to people right before their games. But you can try."

The other girl nods encouragingly and I give them a small smile. "T-thank you so m-much."

"Good luck." The taller one winks before I turn around and head where they directed me.

Wiping my sweaty palms over the skirt of my dress, I start to doubt my idiotic plan. I didn't think this through. How am I even supposed to get him to talk to me? I'm sure his cellphone is long forgotten now and it's not like I'm allowed to walk right in there.

But before I talk myself out of this, I reach a big door where a security guard is standing looking as intimidating as a person could be. He gives me a quick once over before he shakes his head. "No visitors. Come back after the game."