Everything Fragile✔

Chapter Nineteen - Things Never Said

   Mateo is eating something savory at the table in the kitchen when I walk into the apartment. I can smell it from where I stand. He looks unbothered with wet hair clinging to his forehead and the dampened collar of his shirt hugging his neck. It isn't until he hears the door shut behind me when he finally looks up.

   "Hey," he smiles, eyes coming to life. "You're back. I-I was going to call, but last night was hard for you and I wanted to give you time to think or whatever. Are you ready to talk? I was really worried."

   Without saying anything, I walk the length of the room until I stand opposite of him at the table. I place my coffee and bagel on the sleek wooden top, feeling Mateo's eyes on me with each move I make. When I look up at him, his brows are furrowed and his lips dip down into a slight frown.

   "Did something happen?"

   I inhale sharply, trying to keep hold of my temper. "A lot of things happened that I never knew about. You have a knack of keeping secrets, apparently."

   "What?"

   I pull out the stool and take a seat. My heart is beating fast in my chest, the sound of rushing blood is so loud in my ears I can barely think. "The article, Mateo."

   He looks confused at first, then ever so slowly his face settles into a grimace and his body stiffens. He doesn't say anything, but the guilt in his eyes is enough of an answer for me.

   "You lied to me."

   "I don't know what you're talking about."

   Despite the pain of his words and emotionless swirl of indifference in his eyes (God, I hate that look. That familiar, evil, dreadful look), it takes everything in me to not slam my fist down on the table. "Mateo…"

   He stands, taking his plate to the sink. "There's some leftovers for you on the stove. I can heat it up for you if you're hungry."

   "I don't want leftovers. I want you to talk to me. Tell me the truth!"

   Mateo just shakes his head, letting silence take hold. Ethan's voice whispers in my ear suddenly: no one is ever the good guy. Not even Mateo who I so desperately wanted to be. Even he has his own secrets; his own motives despite all that we've been through together. He brought me into this shitty world of his. I never asked for him to. All I wanted was the money, not this. Not lies and secrets. The least he can offer me is some explanation about what's going on. He owes me. He knows he does. Still, he can't even look at me.

   I have to force his hand; for him to acknowledge what he's done, what his uncle made him do. "If you won't talk to me, then I'm leaving."

   There's something about Mateo that I've noticed. Something that we both share: a void to be filled with small touches, glances, and the comforting presence of another. Loneliness is a contagious disease and after going without it for so long, the threat of looking at it in its eyes again feels daunting. Even to me who is prepared to run as far away from Mateo as possible; prepared to run as far and wide from this town too with all its secrecy and pain.

   "I didn't lie." He forces out after a moment of silence. Still, he doesn't turn to face me.

   He's embarrassed, I realize. Ashamed.

   "You did. You said you found the article. That I could use it in court--"

   "And you still can. Even if the firm that published the article isn't real, the facts are. The proof of Willow's wrongdoings is there." Then, he turns to face me, eyes soften at my hardened expression and fiery eyes. "I'm sorry that I lied, alright? I just needed to make sure you were legit. I mean, I knew your mother had died, but I didn't know how. And now I do and so does Ethan. He's good at what he does. At most, we were helping you and now you have ammunition on hand for when you need it."