Chapter Twenty-Seven - Things That Come Undone

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My brain feels like it's split in two and my stomach churns like crazy until the contents within lodges in my throat, ready to burst free. I fling myself out of bed and crawl towards a garbage can next to the door. I barely have enough time to stuff my head into the trash bin before I start heaving. When I'm done, I'm too weak to crawl back into bed and decide to curl up into a ball on the floor instead.

I hear footsteps and then cool air as the bedroom door swings open. Mateo kneels down next to me, placing a hand on my shoulder.

"How are you holding up?" He asks with concern laced in his voice.

I wince against the memories of last night. From the kiss between Mateo and I, Alex's dead body, and then to the conversation between Derek and Mateo. They flood my mind, unmerciful; unforgiving, painting me as the villain of my own story.

"Just peachy." I grumble.

My stomach clenches again and I sit up to release what hopefully may be the last of this hurl session. Mateo holds my braids away from the line of fire, rubbing my back until I'm finished. I feel disgusted, repulsed by myself. But he stays, gazing at me with an unfamiliar softness in his eyes. This is new and I don't understand-

I've had a crush on you for as long as I can remember.

Shit. He confessed to me last night. It wasn't just some stupid drunkened kiss. It meant something to him...and I suppose it meant something to me too, but right now isn't a good time for all of this. I killed someone last night and I need an update about whether I'm screwed or not.

"Have you heard anything about Alex yet?" I ask.

The light drains from his eyes when he lowers his gaze. "You should get changed while I make you something to eat."

"I'm not hungry. I want an update. What did the police find?" What did Officer Reid find?

He doesn't answer my question. I shouldn't expect him to. Mateo stands up to leave, but I grab him by his sleeve and pull him back down.

"Just tell me."

He opens his mouth to speak. No words come out. I can't tell if he's too afraid to tell me or if he's still in shock. I want to slap some sense into him, but my hands feel heavy. On the counter next to the bed, my phone rings. I force myself to my feet and rush over, answering without looking at the screen.

"Hello-" I can barely get the word out before a familiar voice pierces through the line.

"Where the hell are you, Quin?"

"Willow?"

"Duh. I've been trying to call you all night, but you haven't been picking up your phone. I was worried sick, Quin! Did you know that Alex is in the hospital? He was shot last night and when I found out, I spent hours trying to call and text you, but you never replied or answered. I thought you died or that you were kidnapped or something!" She pauses, catching her breath. "Where are you, Quinny?"

"I-I'm sorry. I was so wasted. I don't even remember..."

"You don't even remember what? Don't tell me you snuck off with a random guy looking to get his dick wet."

"No. No, I didn't. I'm, uh, I'm with...Mateo."

"What?"

"Yeah." I don't know why I feel so awkward admitting it. Like I've betrayed Willow or something. She sure makes it feel that way. "We went to...his house and I guess I fell asleep. I didn't hear my phone at all."

Willow sighs long and hard. "Whatever. Just send me the address so I can pick you up. We're going to visit Alex. Then, later we can talk about your taste in men."

"Wait, Alex is okay?"

"When I called, the doctor said that he lost a lot of blood. The police got to him just in time. He won't be waking up anytime soon, but he's stable. Now, give me the address, Quinny."

"Um...actually, Willow, I just remembered that there's something I need to do first."

"Quince..."

"I'll meet you at the hospital in like ten minutes. Promise." I hang up before she can change my mind and slowly turn around to face Mateo.

He wears his mask of indifference well, giving nothing away. I'm not surprised though. Mateo has always been good at keeping his emotions and intentions hidden. Like that time that he took me to his gym. What was meant to be a fun mini trip away from gossip and hearsay that lined the halls of our high school, turned into a display of strength and ability. He's always been calculative in everything that he does. Even now.

"Alex isn't dead."

"Unfortunately."

"Why was that so hard for you to tell me?"

He shakes his head. "I don't know. I just didn't want you to start panicking."

"Well, I'm panicking. He's unconscious. In a coma presumably. What if he wakes up? He'll tell everyone what I did... or tried to do. That is, if the police don't figure it out on their own first."

"They won't." Mateo says, waving me off. "And he won't either. We have enough time to figure out what we'll do if he does wake up; probably blackmail him. His dad's life is still under my family's scrutiny. That can be taken away if he threatens to snitch."

"That's cruel."

"I'm literally trying to help you!" He shouts, annoyed. "Do you want to go to jail?"

"...no."

"Okay." He huffs. "Good. So, then we're doing this."

Funny. Just days ago I told Mateo to stay away from me. I saw the pain in his eyes before I walked away from him. I relished the sight. But of course he couldn't help but approach me at the party last night. I was dazzling, beautiful in the dress that Willow got me, but I was also vulnerable to a predator. The Senator was there as well and Mateo was spying on the man, blending in with the crowd until the old creep got too close to me in my drunken state. I was stupid to let him kiss me; stupid to let him think he had a chance, but I missed him. Not enough to want him back in my life though. Not enough to shoot one of our classmates. Not enough for him to play the hero again and save me. But I was drunk. Again, stupidly wasted. Now here 'we' are. Doing 'this'. If there was any other way that I could get myself out of this without the risk of jail, I'd take it. But I'm trapped.

"Yeah." I mumble. "It looks like we are."

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