𝐈𝐃𝐎𝐋𝐈𝐙𝐄 (yandere x reader)

➢ CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 12, 1996

The walk home alone from the hospital wasn't good for (Y/N)'s steadily declining mental health. She let too many thoughts swirl through her head. And all she could do was listen to them. She had nothing and no one to distract her. She felt completely and utterly... powerless.

'I can't do this,' she thought, again and again and again. 'I can't do this. I can't do this.'

Her mom was all she had left. And now (Y/N) doubted any part of their already damaged relationship could be salvaged. She didn't have any family, she'd lost her job, she couldn't let herself confide in her friends for fear of burdening them... She had nothing.

'I can't do this.'

How was she meant to get through life without her mom? She wasn't eighteen yet. She couldn't sign a lease, couldn't go to a doctor, couldn't do much of anything. And that wasn't even considering the emotional damage! Sure, her mom wasn't mentally well. Sure, she'd hurt (Y/N) emotionally── and physically──  more times than either could likely count. But her mom was all she had. It'd always been the two of them against the world. Even when her mom made things hard, at least she knew they were a team. At least they were fighting to survive together.

Now she was alone.

'I can't do this,' she thought with every trembling step down the street. 'I can't do this,' she thought, slowly climbing up the stairs of the apartment complex where Lev lived. 'I can't do this,' she repeated, as she opened up the front door. 'I can't do this.'

She shut the door behind her, and leaned against it.

"(Y/N)!" Lev called out, poking his head in from the kitchen. "You're home. I was just about to make dinner. How's your mom?"

She looked up at him slowly.

"(Y/N)?" He looked so concerned. "Are you okay?"

He was worried about her. He was worried about her, which meant that he cared. He still cared, even after all her efforts to distance herself from him. After every fight, every evasion, every lie. He cared for her, even after knowing about all her baggage and trauma──  though she had a hard time calling it that. He still cared about her... And if he cared, she wasn't alone.

"(Y/N)...?"

She stepped forward. All she could remember was all their happy moments together. The yelling, the crying──  it was all forgotten. All she could think was, 'if he cares about me, I'm not alone.' She stepped forward, placed her hands on the back of his neck, and kissed him. Moved her lips against his, while he stood there in shock.

But after a moment, Lev pulled away.

"Wait, (Y/N)── What's wrong? What happened?"

She looked down. "I... I don't wanna talk about it..." She leaned forward again.

"Wait, please," Lev held her face gently. "You're not... in the right state of mind. I don't want to take advantage of you."

"You're not," she insisted. "I want this. Don't you?"

"I do──  believe me, I do," he muttered. "But... it's not right. You're not okay, this isn't what you need. Can we talk about this? I──"

(Y/N) stopped him. "Please," she whispered. "I need you."

Those were the magic words. She needed him. When she pressed her lips against his, he didn't push her away. Instead, he relished in the softness of her lips, the comfort of her hand on his shoulder, and the addictive feeling rising in his chest. It'd been so... so long since she'd kissed him. So long since she'd done anything romantic with him. So long since she wanted his love.

A small part of both of them knew this wasn't right. He knew she was only seeking comfort from whatever had made her upset. That she likely wasn't really looking to get back together. And she knew this wouldn't solve anything. That it was only a distraction. And that it wasn't fair to Lev to use him like that.

But neither could bring themself to care.

They kissed, and kissed, and kissed. They stumbled together, scarcely separating, into the bedroom. They laid on the bed, over the blankets, holding each other. Lev kissed her like she was the last source of oxygen in the whole world. And (Y/N) kissed him like he was all she had to keep herself from losing her mind. In her mind, he was. He was all she had.

They remained in each other's arms for the rest of the night.

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hey y'all! this is later than i thought it'd be, and it's a fairly short chapter as well, so sorry about that! It is a very important one, however, and it will set the tone for the dynamic of (Y/N) and Lev for the rest of the book.

i hope you guys are well, and enjoyed this chapter! I love you all :) be warm & well fed