At the Heir's Request

Chapter 28

Anderson Grant

Shan a scare mi.

She took three days off work until the bleeding calm down and she has been at it none stop ever since. She lives, eats and sleeps Cryptic.

I honestly can't tell you what's going through her head because she has been acting like the incident didn't happen. Every time I try to bring up a discussion around the fact that we lost a baby less than a month ago, she brushes me off.

While she is acting like it never happened, it's all I've been thinking about. Every fucking second of every day . I haven't slept in the bed since we came back from the hospital, either. All I see as I go near the room is Shan bleeding out, half dead and screaming in pain.

The room haunts me.

I have taken up residence in my office and my wife hasn't seem to notice my absence just yet. She nuh seh nothing to mi bout it.

Actually, she hasn't said much to me outside of work. It feels like I'm living with a complete stranger at this point.

You know that feeling when you can see things crumbling before your eyes but it's like you can't stop it? That's my marriage. Falling apart at the seams and I don't have the will to hold the fabric of my relationship together.

I've been spending a lot of my time with my friends, CJ, Leo and Johnnie Walker. Most nights I'm at a random chill spot indulging in my favorite whisky. Typically I would invite either CJ or Leo out with me and if it's a weekend maybe both, depending on their schedules.

If my friends have noticed my sudden extroverted behaviors, they haven't mentioned it. I also try to keep the drinking within my limits so as to not alert them. That is until I get home and retire to my office with a fresh bottle.

It's not a healthy habit to pick up but this is the only way I can think of to get my mind off the fact that we lost our baby.

I was going to be a dad and that was snatched away from me.

I fucking hate my life.

Sitting around my desk I stare blankly at my computer screen. I don't even want to be here bro.

I can't even vent about my feelings because Shanique wants to keep it a secret! Like every fucking part of our lives. Cya show her off as mi wife and I cya even cry over the hurt mi a feel inside, knowing that we lost our first child.

I feel so fucked up.

I've never drunk at work before but I suddenly have the urge to. I need something strong. Pulling out my drawer from underneath my desk, I remove the travel size bottle of Hennessy.

I pop open the cork and turned the bottle to my head, drinking it.

I kept turning the bottle to my head until it was done.

I emptied the bottle.

My head was now throbbing and I felt sick. Scared of alerting anyone, I tucked the bottle away in my trash and placed my head on my desk. It felt like the world was spinning.

The spinning wouldn't stop. Thinking quickly I got up to go get some water from my bathroom sink.

I need to drink water.

I didn't make it too far though as my body started to topple.  Feeling myself going down I tried to grab at anything to stop my fall but it was no use.

I crashed to the ground, bumping my head on the edge of the table as I went. Pain shoot through the back of my head and my eyes started to cloud with black dots. Raising my hand up to where my head hurt, I felt warm liquid. I was bleeding.