Typical Secrets

T W E N T Y - E I G H T

I stayed up all night to figure out how I was supposed to tell my dad about everything that has been happening with my body, appetite, and my sister. There's not going to be an easy way, ever. It's basically crushing his happiness.

Then I couldn't help but think about Ryder. What was I going to do with our relationship? How was I going to pull him aside to talk with him about everything that went down a few days ago? This is the last two days we're staying in France, and I don't know if we're gonna get the talk while we're still here.

Also the girls. I don't even know if it was a reasonable reason to get mad at them, I see it from their side, but before they did it, they should've seen it from my side too. Maybe they did. I don't know, how could I ever know.

It's like communicating doesn't exist around me. Maybe it's just me, maybe I'm the stupid one that gets mad at everyone for no reason.

But everyone agreed with me about Ryder.

Then I got the stupidest idea, ever. I got out of bed and left the bedroom, to go and knock on Ryder's and hopefully talk to him, and tell him what I've wanted to say that has stuck with me for a while now.

The door opened, and I was surprised that it was Ryder opening it when it was around 3 am. I was hoping none of them were awake so I could wake up the next morning and not get embarrassed and hate myself for reaching out to him.
"Close the door," I demanded and crossed my arms over my chest. He closed the door slowly and rubbed his eye with his hand.

"I want us to talk, I just don't want us to do it here. I want to enjoy my time since we only have two days left till we go home. I don't want to break up, yet. I suggest we go on a break, and when we return home we can talk it out." I told him, and he immediately nodded.

I nodded back and started walking down the hall to our room again. I stopped and took a deep breath, turned around, and looked at him standing there, looking hopeless.
"Why are you awake this late?" I asked.

"I haven't been able to sleep after you stopped talking to me," Ryder admitted.

I looked at him.

He looked at me.

I looked at him.

"What about you?" He finally asked back.

"I have to tell my dad about the eating thing, and my sister. I couldn't sleep so I decided to try to figure out a way to tell him. Then I thought of you and needed to clear my thoughts so I wouldn't think of you anymore." I explained with honesty in my tone.

"What's so bad about thinking of me?" He questioned. I raised an eyebrow and looked to the side of the hallway.

"Well, it's bad because you're a fucking jerk," I responded. He sighed in disappointment but stayed quiet.

"Oh, I forgot to mention. Milan heard what we were talking about when we were at the lake, and therefore got mad at you for saying those things about his relationship with Jasmine and decided to come over to us and screw us over, the day where you embarrassed the shit out of me." I explained with a sarcastic smile.

Ryder's face fell in shock like he wasn't able to process what I told him.

"How do you know that?" He asked and crossed his arms over his chest, leaning the side of his body up against the door frame.

"He told me himself. Did you expect me to lie about it?" I asked defensively. Ryder shook his head and I turned around to leave him standing there.

"Do you remember when we got paired together, the project about Hamlet? You read the book out loud, just for me." He reminded me. I sighed but didn't turn around.