Abby

CHAPTER TWELVE

The drive to rehab was quiet. No one knew what to say. She'd been allowed one teary eyed goodbye to Jace after packing up, and then they'd whisked her away. To rehab. It still felt funny to say. She'd whispered it to herself a few times while she'd been alone packing. The building looked normal. Almost like an elementary school. Besides the front gate to drive in and out, there weren't any fences. They were buzzed in through the front door, but that seemed more like an effort to keep people out, not lock them in. She tried not to be too emotional. But thirty days was a very long time to be without Aaron. Her parents seemed to sense that this was the biggest issue and they stepped away, allowing them a private good-bye, though they remained in the hall, keeping an ear out. He smiled at her through the tears.

"Please don't leave me." She said, becoming panicked. "Please don't go." He took her hand and squeezed it. "I changed my mind." She said walking towards the door, never letting go of his hand. "I don't want to stay. I can't stay."

"You have to, Abs." He whispered, not trusting his voice.

"I'll be all alone. I can't do it all-." He interrupted her, sensing her growing state of panic.

"I don't want you to die." He admitted. "I'm always scared you're going to die." She looked into his eyes, still crying, her heart beating so fast, her breath coming too rapid. Panic attack.

"But it'll be okay." She began, her chest heaving for clean air. "I'll stay at home. I'll go to school. I won't use drugs and I'll, I'll-." She pulled towards the door, but he held her in her place.

"That wasn't working." He told her gently. "That isn't going to work. You said yourself you needed help. This is help." He begged her with his tone and his gaze to listen to him. She shook her head no.

"I can't stay- I need to go home with you- They'll never let me leave-." She started pacing in circles, pulling her hand free. She couldn't even hear him now. He could see the panic in her body, she was shaking uncontrollably. She looked like she couldn't catch air. She was choking on her tears. Aaron ran to the door confident that his parents weren't far. And they were right outside the door.

"I don't know what's happening." He said, scared for her. They rushed in.

"I'll sit with her, go get a nurse or something." Jennie ordered. She put her hands on Abby's face to keep her still, to focus her gaze. "Abby, look at me, honey." Abby's eyes flickered by her. She couldn't focus on anything, the world swam. She stumbled backwards just as a nurse walked in.

"It's okay, she's just having a panic attack. She'll be okay." The nurse said, taking charge. She pulled Abby to her bed and sat down next to her. "Abby, close your eyes and think of five things you can hear. My voice." Abby couldn't close her eyes; she was afraid they'd disappear. She tried to stand up, but the nurse held her down. That agitated her even more.

"Don't leave me here." She said reaching out for Aaron. "Take me with you, please!" She wailed. The nurse looked at her family.

"You need to leave." She told them. Abby heard that, and her hysteria rose.

"No, don't go!" She wailed. "Don't go." She was sobbing, now. Aaron was crying, and his mother knew they had to leave for his sake alone. "Why are you just standing there!" She yelled. "Help me." She whimpered, begging but realizing they weren't going to. Jason and Jennie took one of Aaron's arms each and pulled him from the room. He didn't struggle, but he didn't help. He wouldn't break eye contact with Abby. "Aaron! Don't go without me! You're my brother, let me see my brother!" She screamed as the disappeared through the doorway. "I love you, Aaron! Don't leave me here!" She wailed. He couldn't listen to her voice, because it wasn't her. He put his hands over his ears, but not before he heard her final cry. "You're supposed to love me! If you loved me, you wouldn't leave me here!" He blew through the front doors gasping for fresh air. He bent over, hands on his knees, eyes squeezed shut. He stood and turned for the door, but his father grabbed him by the elbow.