I die for you I five hargreeves x reader

tape

I I've been sleeping in a cardboard box I

The sound of music is what wakes me up. That's when I realize I fell asleep. The floorboard creaks under my feet as I stand up. The book is on the floor, along with my heart and any inch of sanity I had left. I left it open to the first page. I couldn't put it on the bookshelf. I couldn't even read the first page. 

The song—I think we're alone now, is less than comforting to me. Alison used to listen to it on repeat after dinner. Everyday I would hear it—whether I was listening from my room or from the basement. I'm sick of hearing it, yet a wave of nostalgia rushes over me. 

"Hey, Y/N, will you come and hang out with us?" Alison asks me, beckoning me into her room as I walk by. I am surprised, to say the least. 

She hands me a pair of sunglasses. To cover my eyes. So that she does not see my pupils enlarge, darken, cover the entire surface of my eyes. So that she cannot see her darkest fear, which I now know is being left alone by herself in the dark. 

Well she does not have to worry about that. Only Klaus and I are left alone in the dark. When has Alison ever been alone? This is one of the strange moments where I feel so far away from my sister. 

She hardly feels like my sister. How could she know anything about me? How could she begin to understand? 

I put the sunglasses on, so large they nearly cover my whole face. I suppose that is all the better. I do not even know my own face. 

Alison says she think she can help me with something for my eyes. 

To prevent me from using my powers. 

She grabs tape from her cupboard. 

Tells me it will help. 

She promises it won't hurt. 

I want her to like me. 

I let her. 

Five finds me in my room. 

"Y/N?" He is shocked to see me. "Did you do that to yourself?" 

I am in the corner. I feel safer that way. Walls on either side of me, there's no way anyone can sneak up on me or take my by surprise. 

I shake my head. 

"Alison did," I cannot see him. But this is good. I can't hurt him this way. "It's fine. Now I can't hurt you." 

Ten year old Five sits down beside me. "I don't care if you hurt me. I trust you." He sighs. 

"You—you what?" 

"I trust you." 

Suddenly I want to see him. I try to take the tape off. It hurts. "Five, I can't take it off." It's dark in here. It's too dark. "I can't see!" 

He helps me. Slowly. Gently. 

I can see him again. "I don't know why you trust me." 

He looks at me, looks right in my eyes. His are so wide, so green, so deep. Peaceful, like a green lake.

"I trust you because you're my friend." 

The song is over, and a loud crash sounds through the entire house. There is a giant blue light outside, pulsing electricity. I open the window, feeling the wind blow my hair back. Blink against the storm. People treat me like a storm. Worried that I might strike them with lightning, or rain on them until they can't breathe. 

I am not a storm. 

The sky is dark today, like it could rain at any time. It is not ideal for looking at the stars, which was something I hoped to do tonight. Stars give me hope. Stars are not scared of me. 

I walk outside, where the others are already gathered. No one looks at me as I join them. 

"What the hell is that?" Diego yells, pointing at the obvious blue light that is pulsating in the sky in front of us. 

"It could be a black hole, or some other kind of anomaly!" Luther bellows, in response. Vanya hangs back, unsure. Luther steps protectively in front of Alison. 

"Look out!" Klaus shouts, running forward with a fire extinguisher. He throws it into the blue light—which eats it up immediately. 

"What was that going to do?" Diego challenges. 

"Do you have a better idea?" 

A reflection appears in the blue light. It almost looks like—

And then someone drops through the blue light, landing right on the ground in front of us. He's wearing a dark suit, hair perfect as always. 

My heart stops. Restarts, then stops again. 

It is him. 

"Does anyone else see little number Five, or is that just me?" Klaus asks. 

So many things are running through my brain. How is he here now? Didn't he leave? Why did he leave like he did? I hate him for leaving. Hated. Past tense. I couldn't hate him if I wanted to. 

"Shit," he mutters. 

His eyes land on me. Widen, blink, look away. Look away? 

He doesn't acknowledge me at all. It's like I don't exist. That—that is the only thing that causes me to break further. 

I turn around. Walk back into the house. 

I can die there instead. 

I don't know how much time has passed. My room is quiet. The house is quiet. Everything in this world is quiet, except for my brain. 

I lay down on my back, on my bed, staring at the stars. 

"We should arrange them in a constellation." 

Maybe it would've been better if I hadn't cared at all. 

The door opens. No knock. 

"Y/N," the tone is enough to break me. "Y/N, I'm sorry." 

He's sorry. Well that's nice to know. All those years I spent alone and tortured, wondering why the hell he saw it necessary to leave and never come back, and he's sorry. That just makes up for it all. 

"Are you now?" I turn around to stare at him, unexpectedly coming face to face with the person I missed most. The person I hate and love and hate and love and hate and loved most in the entire world. "Are you sorry? Sorry for what? For which part? For leaving?" 

His eyes are downcast, but they come up to meet mine. So green, still. 

"You haven't changed," Five says softly. 

"Neither have you." 

He's still an inch taller than me. 

"I'm still taller than you," a slow smile spreads on his face. He looks at me like he cares, which is strange because he can't. Because if he did, he wouldn't have left. 

"Where were you?" I force myself to ask. 

The smile fades. "The future," he says. "It's shit by the way." 

"Kind of like the past and present," I add, before I can stop myself. Five sits down beside me, his thigh resting against mine. The little bit of contact is enough to push me over the edge because now I know that he's real. He's real. 

"I tried to come back," he says. "Trust me. If I could've come back I would've." Five blinks. "Was it...bad here? When I was gone?" 

"Oh I wouldn't know," I say airily. "Seeing as I wasn't here either." 

"What?"