The Other Prior: Candice Prior || Divergent Fanfiction

Chapter 25: Another Death

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Chapter 25: Another Dies

I know that Four thinks that he is worst affected by the simulations. I think it's stupid, an opinion that I have voiced out many times before. He's jumpy, as though he's expecting Marcus to jump out at him at any moment. Before I lost myself to guilt after Jake's death, he told me about his fears. Heights, Confinement, Killing the innocent, and Marcus. I remember wanting to march into Abnegation and throttle the man who hurt my friend, but I settled, with much self-control, to sitting and listening to him. I couldn't tell him what had, and I'm glad he didn't press me to share. A lot of my fears are hard to explain.

Now, I'm sitting with Zeke and Four, Shauna and Mia having gone on a shopping spree, and me feeling uncomfortable to sit with Amar's friends in his absence. I'm not listening to the boys' conversation, which usually comprises of thrashing Eric verbally, instead picking at my food. We have a day off before the final exam, the only emotional day off I have had in over a week. I'm wondering what to do with it, debating going to a salon Shauna and I talked about or simply going to get some much-needed sleep, when a question from Zeke pulls me back into the conversation.

"You, okay?"

At first, I think the question is posed at me, but a quick look at the two boys tell me that it is meant for Four. I kick myself for not noticing it sooner. There are bags under his eyes, and he looks like a cross over between the living and the dead, an alarmingly accurate version of the Four from my fear simulation. I have been so caught up in my own troubles these past few days, that I have sort of forgotten to look at other people.

"You look," Zeke continues, seemingly unable to think of a word to put it softly, "exhausted."

"I'm fine," Four snaps, making Zeke withdraw slightly.

"Oh clearly," I say, sarcasm dripping in my tone – something I used to often get scolded about in Abnegation. "It's okay not to be okay, you know."

"Yeah, cause you're one to give advice. You've been a zombie for the past week. You didn't even sit with us yesterday!" He snaps back, sensing my sarcasm. We are both tired and frustrated and emotionally drained from the past week. Snapping at each other is much easier than confronting the emotional trauma that we have gone through. He, because of re-living his demonic past, and me because of the new evils that I had to face. The tension surrounding our table after our exchange is apparent as we both shovel food into our mouths only pausing to acknowledge Zeke's attempts to break the tension, eager to get away from each other. When we're both down to our last few bites, Uriah, Zeke's brother, complete with a bandage over his ear covering a new tattoo, runs up to our table looking stunned and out of breath. His face, which is usually one of someone about to make a funny joke or remark, is subdued.

"Amar," he pants, "Amar is dead."

My entire body goes numb. I register Four chuckle nervously. "What? What do you mean, he's dead?"

We're all standing up now, food forgotten, staring at Uriah, who falters under our gaze.

"A Dauntless woman found a body on the ground near the Pire early this morning," Uriah says, stuttering slightly "They just identified it. It was Amar. He . . . he must have . . ."

A ringing sound fills my ears. Amar is dead. Amar is dead. I haven't known him for more that a month. Barely a month. It's amazing how much impact someone can make on your life in such a short period of time. I can feel my resolve to stay strong dwindling. I see Four run off before my vision gets blurry.

"Andi?"

Zeke's voice seems distant.

He comes closer to me, looking at me closely. I think he sees the tears that are on the verge of spilling out of my eyes, because he embraces me, me clutching to his shirt as though it's my only lifeline. I'm broken. Dauntless initiation has always aimed to break the initiates. It has succeeded.