cinira (nyiah's pov)
awful things - may 22nd 2022
first, i respect my daddy, i really do, but sometimes he say stuff i don't agree with.
tonight, i really wanted to go out and my daddy didn't want me to go out because according to him, it's 'late' and 'i don't like getting up as it is'. again, i respect him but i'm not about to let him tell me what to do all the time.
so when he said all that shit, i went and laid down.
my daddy think i'm in bed asleep right now, but when i was sure he was asleep, i ended up sneaking into his liquor cabinet and stealing a bottle of his tequila.
after i got it, i left out the back door dressed in shorts that barely go past my thighs, a white see-through tank top wearing no bra, and a few dollars, hurrying into the front seat of chris' old 2015 jeep he already had running.
chris apologized. well, he didn't really even apologize.
he basically said he was sorry that i felt some type of way which is technically an apology if you think about it.
i won't hold it against him though. i do my share of messed up shit.
we would be made for each other if he wasn't such a cheater.
taking a long sip of the liquor from out the bottle, i wince when it starts burning my throat. chris must have noticed my short lived discomfort 'cause he ends up turning his head to look at me for a second.
"ay," he starts. "you know you can't bring that in the movie, right? they gon' kick our ass out."
no, duh. he must think i'm stupid or something. "i didn't ask." i replied, narrowing my eyes but not looking at him.
"don't talk to me like that, i was just letting you know." he mumbled. "always got a fuckin' attitude problem.."
i turn my face up at that 'cause everyone always commenting on my attitude. maybe he just needs to shut the fuck up for once. i don't like him all that much for him to be talkin' to me anyway. i don't respect him enough for me to not just be talking to him anyway i want to.
"can you just drive!?" i ask through clenched teeth. "you talk too much, you fucking up the buzz i'm trying get."
sometimes i feel like i can be a little too hostile, but i'll never apologize for that. i think that's just the way i am.
if i was a smiley person, people wouldn't complain about me smiling all the time, but just because i'm mad they get to talk shit about my anger? i hate that. that's stupid.
chris sucks his teeth, sighing deeply, making a sharp turn at a corner. "yeah, whatever, nyiah."
i allow myself to leave it at that, silently waiting for the car ride to be over. i hate the movies, it's hard me to sit still.
i hate drinking too. i'll admit that sometimes i just be doing stuff for the sake of doing them and right now, drinking is something i'm just doing.
not because i like it, not because i want to, but because the bottle was just right there and nobody was around to stop me.
"we here," chris mutters and even though i didn't realize it until he said so because i was so deep in my thoughts, i fight the urge to say 'i know, i can see that' anyway.
