- cinira 'nyiah' brooks' pov | chapter thirty (30)
- october 17th 2022 | lil peep - lil kennedy
"and girl, mr. idelman, t-that's my history teacher, ou, that man be gettin' on my fuckin' nerves." i mutter quietly with closed eyes. i hear aaliyah hum all soft and shit in reply to my complaining as i feel her continuing to apply the gloss to my lips. it's pink gloss. real cute, too. she say she just bought it while her and her mom went shopping at ulta. "i be wishing i had a new teacher all the time and-"
i stop talking when aaliyah laugh a little. i open my eyes and see her smiling. "what's so funny?"
"ny, as much as i love hearing you complain about wanting new teachers, i need you to stop for a second." she says. "i can't put the gloss on her right if you're lips are moving."
despite her not looking all upset about it, i still frown, feelin' a lil small for no reason. "my bad."
she smiled weakly. "you're fine."
i readjust my seating on the bathrooms sink counter so i can sit more comfortably before letting aaliyah get back to doing what she was doing.
as she fix the gloss, she mumble things, some things i catch, some things i don't.
i make sure to pay attention when she all of a sudden start talking about therapy and doctor office visits. "the visit with dr. whitlock was interesting. they made me do another mri scan.. we talked about my brain, t-talked about my brain and how it's going to work moving forward.." then she stop talking, but then she start sayin' stuff again.
".. dr. lacuna showed me lots of pictures. we did the whole 'tell me the date, tell me your name, tell me the color of the sky,' bit. ..we, um, did things with blocks and dolls and it made me feel really stupid." she admits the last part quietly.
i blink once, she keeps going. "me and my cousin, chandler, used to be close when we were kids. we used to do a lot of stuff; used to dress up, help my grandma cook, play board games together." she pauses and drags her finger below the bottom of my lip, getting rid of messy gloss. "i didn't remember her before but dr. lacuna helped me remember her and i remember her now."
i pull away and look at her. "so.. i mean, it seem like y'all used to be close. you gon' call her up? call her and let her know you remember her now?"
she shrugs, "i can't. chandler's dead."
i turn my face up. "what you mean?"
"she got shot when we were little. happened during a drive-by or something like that."
my heart drop and my stomach do flips for some reason. "oh.." i mumble quietly. ".. so, you just forgot her?" i ask after some time. aaliyah nods. "and what, you forgot she was dead, too?" i ask. she nod again, starting to put the cap back on the lipgloss. "dang, girl.."
i didn't know her falling and losing her memory could make her forget something like that. i don't know what i thought, but i didn't think that.
even though i don't like my sister, i can't imagine losing my memory and then getting help to remember my sister and all the good times we had, just to remember that my sister is dead and she has been for the last years or so.
like, i would have to feel the same way i felt when she died. i would have to go through those feelings all over again.
"is you okay?"
aaliyah shake her head, sighing softly before pouting her lips out. "not really. remembering things hurt a lot."
i watch her eyes get glossy. all i can do is look. i wish my eyes can get like that. i wish i can shed a tear for her. i can't though. the tear won't be genuine. "i'm sorry,"
