- cinira 'nyiah' brooks' pov | chapter thirty-five (35)
- october 29th 2022 | lil peep - white tee
even though i don't feel like drinking i don't tell journey 'no' when she asks me if i want to go to the kitchen with her and get ourselves another drink. and once we do finally make our way inside of the kitchen, our bodies forced against the kitchen counter 'cause it's so damn crowded in this bitch, i do not admit to her that i don't want any more liquor when she begins to fill my cup with pink whitney.
smiling weak, she hands me drink "sorry i ain't ask what you prefer. it's real loud and crowded in here. a bitch can barely think straight." i shrug and take the cup from her.
"it's okay. i don't got no preference."
"yeah?" she brings her cup to her lips and takes a sip, her eyes never stop staring into mine. "you drink light, dark.."
"mhm, as long it got me feelin' some type of way by the time i'm on my second cup, i'm good with whatever."
the corners of her lips twitch upwards a lil as she pull the cup away from her mouth. "mm.. well, i fuck with that." she says, nodding to herself. "the type of people who can go with the flow and just do with what they got, be the best type of people."
i tilt my head to the side a bit, finally looking her in the eyes the way i feel like she been wanting me to. "yeah? says who?"
she raise her hand a lil bit. "me,"
"so according to you i'm the best type of person?"
"you might be. i have to get to know you better to be sure though."
i force my eyebrows together a lil. "you know getting to know a person takes time, right?"
she shrug. "you worth it,"
"i'm worth yo time,"
journey nods in confirmation. "yeah, you is."
ain't that some shit? she think i'm worth of her time. i know for a fact that my direct family would beg to differ.
when i was 12 i begged aniyah to go outside and play jump rope with me. she didn't even think about saying 'yes' until i left my room and came back with my piggy bank. i gave her my (at the time) life savings of 47 dollars and 19 cents just for her to come outside with me for 10 minutes and immediately go back inside when that 10 minutes was up.
when she had walked away i stood their, confused. but then i got mad. i went inside to talk shit.
i went, "you didn't even stay for long, nee-nee!" i remember whining. "a-and we just fixed the rope! you didn't give me a chance to go get paris and stella nem from down the street!"
aniyah had rolled her eyes, looked past her phone screen and at me. "it's not my fault the stupid rope was tangled."
"but-"
she cut me off. "but nothing, nyiah. you want me to play some more? save up 47 more dollars."
"i don't have 47 more dollars!"
"right, so if you ain't got no more money to give me, i don't have any of my time to give to you." then dismissed me with a wave. "now get out."
i shake my head a lil, trying to shake away that distant conversation from that mildly distant memory.
i focus on journey. "and how you so sure of that?" i ask her. "for all you know i ain't worth a nickel on the sidewalk."
"i don't mind finding that out for myself."
