JOHNNY'S POV
calissa was silent the whole car ride back home which i assume was in protest over my decision this morning. we walk into my house and everyone sets their stuff down except calissa who begins to run upstairs with the large latte in hand.
"bam i got you coffee!" she yells.
i sit down on the couch with a big sigh as ryan rummages through a bag that bam left on the floor.
"bam brought this because he wanted to convince you on cali's argument as well" ryan says as he pulls a cd out of the bag.
he puts the cd into my dvr and presses play. an image of someone's feet pop up along with the sound of yelling.
"now coming in from westchester, pa! killer calissa margera!" a man's voice echoed through a microphone.
the image panned up to an mma cage with calissa walking around it. i could hear bam and the crowd yelling behind the camera.
"and in this corner from harrisburg pa, we have jocelyn ellis!" the announcer yells.
a girl slightly taller than calissa walks into the cage with a cocky smile.
"i was at this fight! it was pretty short though" chris says, sitting down next to me on the couch.
"why was it short?" i ask, pulling my attention back to the tv.
everything seems to look like a pretty normal fight match until almost immediately, calissa throws a high kick to jocelyn's head and knocks her out cold on the ground. i hear bam's scream of support overwhelm the microphone attached to the camera as calissa runs over to the girl and begins throwing sharp elbows at her head.
"that's why" chris chuckles, responding to my question.
as i'm in shock at the violence she's able to create, another video pops up immediately after.
"this was her U.S flyweight championship win" ryan says.
i watch the video closely and calissa is absolutely destroying her opponent. the video ends showing calissa leaving the ring with a bloody nose, a small bruise on her eye, and a championship medal while her opponent was limping out with the help of two people as blood ran down the cut on her forehead.
"hey killer calissa" i hear chris tease around.
i look back and calissa's now in the room with a small smile on her face as she rolls her eyes.
"wait what's going on?" calissa frantically says once she sees the TV.
"i'm showing johnny how tough you really are" ryan smirks.
the video switches to a calmer sounding setting inside of what looks like a fight gym. calissa's shown fighting and basically cornering some guy that looks almost twice her size. the guy takes a knee, tired of the constant blows from her and i hear a man clapping.
"that's exactly what i want out of every single one of you!" a muscular man says walking into frame.
the video ends and i see everyone's reflection on the black screen.
"so do i look tough enough?" cali sarcastically asks me.
"you're still gonna be watched out for" i reply.
cali dramatically groans.
"anyway i'm going to the store with bam, i'll be back in an hour" she says.
"wait but how in the hell did you knock that girl out with a head ki-" i'm interrupted mid sentence when she closes the front door on her way out.
bam jogs down the stairs looking more refreshed than he did this morning.
"is your cousin always this much of a bitch bam?" i ask him.
"don't call her a bitch, bye guys" bam shortly replies as he walks out the door after cali.
i don't know whether i should be amazed or terrified at cali's fighting ability.
~~~
CALISSA'S POV
"walking was a bad idea cali" bam groans as he dramatically hunches his back.
"it's a two mile walk and you're a professional skateboarder, shouldn't you have enough core and leg strength for this?" i chuckle at his behavior.
bam and i were walking back with 5 bags of groceries in total, filled with actual food and a few snacks.
"why couldn't have p.j just drove us again?" bam asks.
"because p.j is being a bitch right now" i reply as i grit my teeth.
"funny, he said the same thing about you as i walked out of the house" bam laughs.
are you serious? you know what maybe i am being a little overdramatic but that doesn't mean johnny isn't either.
we finally make it to the house and walk into dead silence; how is this silence even possible. i set the groceries down on the kitchen counter and a blue note catches my eye.
'we had to leave for a skit with wee man and preston, we'll be back at 9 -johnny'
"damnit, johnny left already. i wanted to meet some of the crew" i sigh.
"you'll meet them sooner or later don't worry" bam smiles.
he helps me unload all of the groceries we bought and get together a few ingredients for an actual dinner i'm about to make.
~~~
after 4 hours of playing johnny's video games with bam, i make pasta alfredo with lemon pepper chicken and some garlic bread for dinner. right as i turned off the stove and finished making the meal chris, ryan, and johnny walk in; perfect timing.
"i don't think my house has ever smelt this good, what's being made" johnny laughs.
chris walks into the kitchen first and jumps with excitement like a little kid.
"oh my god thank you cali" he smiles as he gives me a quick hug.
"no problem, it's mainly to save myself from drinking johnny's fridge milk for dinner" i laugh.
everyone gathers in the kitchen to make themselves a plate and before i know it all the food is gone before i got a chance to make myself a plate. everyones sitting in the living room talking about their day and i go decide to join them before i clean the kitchen up.
"you guys could've saved at least a little for me" i quietly speak.
"what do you mean, i got your plate here kid" johnny says, lifting up a huge plate of the pasta and two pieces of garlic bread.
i can't help it but smile at him. i sit next to him on the couch and take the plate out of his hands.
"you didn't have to put so much and don't call me kid, we're like only 8 years apart...thank you p.j" i smile up at him.
"don't mention it kid" johnny says as he resumes back to eating.
YOU ARE READING
fuck you p.j~a johnny knoxville/jackass fanfiction
Fanfiction20 year old calissa margera is bam margera's little cousin; she's lived with bam since she was 16 years old and wouldn't wish her situation to be any other way. although bam does annoy her constantly with pranks and such, she's like his protective o...
