fuck you p.j~a johnny knoxville/jackass fanfiction

chapter 9~firing you up

JOHNNY'S POV

i wake up with a pounding ass headache, dreading to get out of bed to start the day. i force myself up and into the bathroom then take about 3 aspirins; i hear chris' door open.

"chris and i were up all night making love" steve-o tiredly jokes as he comes out of the room.

"i don't doubt it bud" i chuckle lightly.

i leave the bathroom to go downstairs but see cali's door cracked open and hear noise being made in there. i lightly knock on the door then open it to see bam organizing her clothes into the dresser, i've rarely seen this generous side of him.

"hey bam!" steve-o says, welcoming himself into the room.

"hey, i'm unpacking for calissa since her lazy ass hasn't and probably won't for a while" he says, pulling his attention back to the task.

i watch steve-o walk over to her opened up suitcase; there's a purposefully untouched section of bras and panties lying in her suitcase.

"woah cali has to be at least a C cup" steve-o pervertedly chuckles as he grabs her black lace bra.

bam smacks the side of his head hard and grabs her bra by the strap, throwing it back in the suitcase.

"you're a pervert steve-o" i disappointedly sigh.

steve-o gives me a shameless smirk as his eyes wander around the room again.

"do you think she actually likes falling asleep to this half naked picture of adriana lima?" steve-o points at the poster on the ceiling laughing.

"i doubt it, she hates those starving models" bam replies.

maybe i should take that down since she'll be staying here for a while.

"woah she pops pills?!" steve-o excitedly exclaims as he heads towards her dresser.

he picks up a prescription pill bottle and start reading it. she doesn't ACTUALLY pop pills does she??

"what the fuck type of drug is buspirone?" steve-o asks confused.

"stop fucking with her stuff, it's not your business!" bam snaps at steve-o as he snatched the bottle out of his hands.

an idea pops up in my head that's harmless to cali but will get steve-o's ass kicked; which he honestly deserves right now.

"can we fuck with her makeup bam?" i hesitantly ask him.

"hell yeah, it'll boost her confidence not wearing it for a bit, i think..hopefully" bam chuckles.

i smile widely and run to grab my camera from my room then head towards the bathroom. i see bam laying out makeup pallets, lipsticks, and other makeup products on the bathroom counter.

"we're making this a prank bit for jackass" i say as i hold up the camera to record.

i give bam a look basically saying to let me take charge of the situation and he lightly nods at me with a smirk.

"alright, go" i say, hitting record.

"bam and i currently have all of cali's makeup and we decided that she's wayyy too pretty naturally for makeup. so basically she's not gonna have makeup anymore" steve-o says, mischievously chuckling.

bam takes her lipsticks and crushed them down into the sink, using the last remaining one to write 'we love u cali' on the mirror.

"steve-o mess up the rest" i tell him with a smirk.

steve-o grabs one of her makeup brushes and starts using it to crush up every makeup palette she has. bam steps away as steve-o is going at it, destroying calissa's makeup like an annoying little brother would. he takes some stuff for her eyes, snapping them in half and washing them down the sink.