MERLIN / MERTHUR ONESHOTS

Eighteen

AN- I present to you a random ass shit post.
Felt like we needed something light hearted to break up how idk dark?? deep?? depressing?? (idk something like that) my other stories have been..

It's like 0230 am, please excuse or correct any spelling or grammar mistakes..i'm tIred okay!?

CW: Lighthearted talk of sex, nothing too drastic
and Mentions of throwing up

Have fun reading it <3
-Kojak :D

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"HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO SIR MORDREDDDDDDDD, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!"

The Knights sung loudly and proudly, jumping up and down around the tavern. They all had a tankard of mead in their hands, the bitter sweet drink sloshing over the cups and spilling onto the floor. They got the entire tavern chanting a birthday song in honour of their youngest knight finally turning 18.

Mordred stood upon the counter at the back of the tavern, face flushed and a drunken grin. He bowed proudly, cape floating down behind him.

"SPEACH! SPEACH! SPEACH!"
The Knights banged upon the tables with their fists, an obnoxious sound. They continued until Mordred was giggling, hands raised in surrender.
"ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT!"
He laughed,
"ILL DO YOUR STUPID SPEACH!"

The tavern errupted in a victorious roar, boisterous cheers could be heard throughout the middle town. They died down in sync, eager to hear the words of the now adult Mordred.

"First of all i would like to say a massive massive FUCK YOU to Arthur for all the nights he took us down the taverns and only let me have apple juice."

Arthur glared up at the boy as Leon's face split in a grin and he slapped the King in joy.
"I could have you done for treason Mordred."
Arthur warned jokingly, eyebrow raised.

"It was EMBARRASSING sire!"
Mordred defended himself.
Suddenly his position changed, stumbling slightly he pointed an accusing finger at Merlin.

"And don't even get me started on Merlin."
He looked around the tavern, catching everyone's engaged eyes.
"Do you guys know how many times i had to walk in and catch them two having the LOUDEST, most PASSIONATE, and extremely and i mean extremely KINKY fucking SEX."

Merlins face slammed into the table in embarrassment, Arthur's face a pendragon red.
"MORDRED-"
He choked out and he swatted at Gwaine who was crying with laughter.
"Gwaine!"
Leon just shook his head, rolling his eyes and tutting.
Lancelot however cheered,
"HERE! HERE! Thank FUCK somebody has finally brought it up. I have seen parts of the King i should have never seen. IM TRAUMATISED!"

"RIGHT?"
Mordred agreed. His hands miming crude things, moving up and down in suggestive ways.
"It SCARRED ME."
He shook for added affect.
"Imagine me, young 15 year old me going about my day. Bird are singing, skies are blue and i am just trotting around the castle, you know, as one does."

He paced up and down the counter, acting out the scene as though he was the main in a play.
"Now I walk past the Kings chambers and i hear these sounds right. And let me really let you understand that these are absolutely NOT normal sex noises. THESE BITCHES SOUNDED LIKE THEY WERE IN PAIN, THEY WERE BASICALLY FIGHTING CALLING EACHOTHER EVERY NAME UNDER THE SUN RIGHT? AND I HEARD PHYSICALLY FIGHTING, SLAPPING!"

The tavern collectively broke out into laughter.
"YOU GET SOME SIRE!"
A towns person congratulated. Lancelot rubbed Merlins shoulders in an understanding act of support, though his face showed he found this just as humerus as everyone else.