MERLIN / MERTHUR ONESHOTS

Straightn't

"Merlin!"
Arthur's voice rang out through the castle walls.
"Arthur!"
Merlin screamed back.
You could hear their feet slapping across the concrete as they were running.
"I am so going to get you for this Merlin."
"No you're not."

The King , who was wearing a dress, chased a topless Merlin throughout the castle . Anyone who heard or saw the situation had to turn around and stifle a laugh - not wanting the Kings dignity to be completely lost . This was an almost daily occurrence, well not Arthur wearing a dress but him chasing Merlin throughout the grounds. Their friendship was the main source of entertainment in Camelot.

"How did you even manage to trick me into this Merlin?"
Arthur panted out , his words still echoing around the castle.
"It was easy , you are rather stupid sire."
Merlin answered the King
"Merlin! Stop right this instance , i order you as King of Camelot!"
Oof pulling rank on Merlin , how unlike Arthur that was - definitely not something he did hourly , no never . Not him, you must be mistaken.
"What can't keep up old man, or should i say old lady?"
At this Arthur picked up his pace , being sure not to get his legs tangled
in the long material.

They ran to the training area , where Merlin slowed down slightly as he was beginning to get out of breath.
Arthur took this opportunity to catch up and tackle him onto the ground.
He looked down at his hunt,
"Wait Merlin , where is your shirt?"
He looked up at Arthur , a smug expression.
"Well you never gave me chance to put it back on Arthur."
"Merlin?"
"Shut up?"
"You guessed it."

Arthur let his guard down slightly , being certain that he had well and truly captured his manservant. Merlin saw an opportunity and exploited it ; he wrapped his legs around Arthur's - flipping them around. Merlin now towered over Arthur , pining him down at the wrists.

Arthur was flustered, his face burning red . Something about being pinned down by a shirtless Merlin , really appealed to him . Merlin of course , being as observant as ever, noticed this.

"Got a little problem there sire?."
He asked , damn well knowing the answer.
Arthur didn't trust his voice so he just shook his head to say no.
Merlin looked down once again before trailing back up to Arthur's lust filled eyes . Seriously all the blue was gone now , his pupils blown wide.
"Oh my mistake Arthur , must be something else pressing into my leg then."

Arthur went even redder , if that were possible, before nodding his head to Merlin's statement- hoping that he'd let it go.
"So if i did this,"
Merlin started , taking a brief second to apply a little pressure with his leg ,
"Nothing would happen would it Arthur?"
Arthur stayed silent as he struggled to bite back a moan.
"You're not restraining yourself are you Arthur?"
Still no response.
"Oh i suppose i will just get up and go then , seeing as there's nothing to do here."
Arthur whined at this , he fucking whined like a little bitch.

Merlin got up only for Arthur to tackle him back down.
"I don't like this as much but it's going to have to do."
"Oh i don't think so sire , being a whiny little bitch is more your thing."
"Shut up Merlin."
"You shut up Arthur."
"Make me,"
"Anddd you just proved my point."

Across the field , only 25 metres or so away stood the knights . Arthur was supposed to be training them but it's appeared that he got a little preoccupied with Merlin.

Gwaine turned to Percy.
"And i thought we were bad , do they know that they're practically fucking in front of everyone."
Percival just shook his head , sighing deeply . He acted as though he were done with his King , but in all honesty he'd serve no one else. This complete mess of a man and a poor excuse of a servant were his family - which is why he groaned in distaste.

Leon spoke out loud , to himself really , but Elyan was listening.
"Why is he wearing a dress and where is Merlin's shirt?"
"It beats me Leon , they're very unpredictable. Perhaps it's some sort of kink - i just wished they kept it off the training fields and in their rooms. Not that i'd put it on poor Gaius to have to walk in on that."
He gestured vaguely to the bodies.
At this Leon chuckled but shoved Elyan at the statement . He was still the King after all, a little respect was still required.

Mordred looked between Lancelot and his Kings .
"Should i stop him ?"
"I wouldn't go over there if i were you Mordred , wouldn't risk catching whatever they have."
"No Lance , i meant telepathically. I don't think they are aware they're outside."
Lancelot looked thoughtful at this ,
"i suppose it would save Arthur's ego."
They looked on at boys who were rolling around on the floor , pining each other down - grinding down on each other every so often.
"It is getting a bit graphic isn't it Mordred."
"Yes Lance , my poor innocent eyes have been ruined . I need bleach."

Emrys? Oi Emrys ! Get a fucking room . I don't want to watch you and Arthur fuck on the training grounds - nobody does actually. Keep your kinky shit in your rooms.

At this Merlin rolled off Arthur and stood up , rearranging his clothes to hide his problem . He helped Arthur up before taking his hand and running off to what the knights could only assume to be Arthur's chambers.

Thank you Mordred. A life saver you are .

Just spare us having to bleach our eyes next time yeah?

"Oh fucking finally they're getting a room . Straight my ass."

Lancelot leaned into Mordred,
"Thank you , i , we owe you our sanity."
"I can never rid that from my mind."
The knights turn to me simultaneously.

"Oh no i forgot that Mordred was only a wee child , they will pay for what they've done . Corruption."
Gwaine sung out dramatically, his hand drawn to his head.

"Mordred when a Mummy and Daddy. Or in this case a Daddy and a Daddy love each other very much ; they dance the horizontal tango to show it." Percival explained , a hand rested upon Mordred's shoulder in a patronising way .

Elyan joined in , struggling not the smile at the antics.
"When you get older Mordred darling we will have to explain the birds and the bees properly . But when a Daddy gets really exited then-"

Mordred grew beyond embarrassed , the harmless banter taking a bit of a toll on him.

"Guys shut up , i'm 19 not 10 for fucks sake . I know what sex is ."

"Are you sure Mordred?"

"Guys i'm literally not a virgin, i think i know what sex is." a hint of amusement was present in his tone , but his words still deadly serious.
The knights stared at him , mouths agape and minds blown. Little baby Mordred wasn't so much of a little baby after all.

"You" Gwaine started,
"Are" Percy continued,
"Not" Elyan stated,
"A" Leon next,
"Virgin." Lancelot said seeming traumatised.
"MORDRED!" They collectively screamed at the younger knight.

"Is this a good time to start running away?" He asked , scared for his wellbeing. They all nodded menacingly which he took as a good opportunity for starting.

"Who did you have sex with?"

"When did you sleep with someone?."

"Are you still with them?"

"Was it a girl or boy?"

The questions kept getting hurled at Mordred as they chased him . Parents covered their children's ears but still watched on in amusement at the view. The guards who are usually solemn even cracked a few smiles.

Mordred ran past Arthur's chambers, regretting his life choices . The things he heard were enough to scar him for life , luckily the other knights heard too. Now they were too busy washing out there ears to slander Mordred for his own private time.