Here I am living despite it all

Slight tumble

Meredith's pov-

I heard my phone ringing as I was just about to get dinner ready for Addison when she returned home. I looked at the caller ID and it was Bailey so immediately I picked up.

"Hey Bailey what's-"

"Meredith you need to come to the hospital it's Addison she passed out in surgery and she's asking for you"

"Oh god, okay okay I'll be there just as soon as I can get Amelia to look after mollie, she doesn't like hospitals much"

"Already sorted it out and Amelia should be arriving any second just hurry please"

I ended the call and immediately felt nauseous. Had I really been that blind. Had I really just missed the fact that my own fiancée was struggling. God I was an awful person.

Amelia rushed through the door a few minutes after I had hung up the phone

"Amelia is she okay"

"She's fine she just needs you right now so go please I've got mollie"

-

As soon as I got to the hospital I ran up to the front desk frantic.

"Doctor grey doctor Montgomery is in room 2106"

"Thank you"

I ran all the way up the stairs I just needed to get to Addison as soon as possible. After what seemed like hours I got to Addisons room and I just saw her peacefully sleeping on the bed, I just stood and cried before I went in to face the fact I had unintentionally dismissed the fact the love of my life was really struggling.

I sucked in a deep breath and entered her room. She was laying on the bed curled into a ball, tears immediately sprung to my eyes at the sight of her.

"Addie"

"Mer hey"

"How are you feeling"

"Like a giant wave crashed on top of me"

Meredith shifted her weight nervously from foot to foot as she stood at the end of Addisons bed.

"C'mere Mer" Addison cooed warmth spreading through Meredith suddenly and the comfort Addison was giving.

"I don't deserve you Addie. I feel so guilty I'm sorry I will do better"

"Stop this now Mer, you were helping a child with complex trauma and ptsd from horrific incidents in her life. Unfortunately I forgot to look after myself properly whilst that was going on because our little routine of having dinner together was no longer a thing and I just stopped eating due to stress and sadness. I'm okay now Mer I'm not mad at you I'm mad at myself for not speaking to you about how I felt okay. I love you so stop punishing yourself for this."

"Okay Addie I'm just glad your okay"

Meredith rested her head on her fiancées chest and talked about the most random things until eventually Addison was discharged back home. She was on a meal plan given to her by Dr Wyatt to get back into eating a normal healthy amount of food. Apart from that nothing changed in her normal routine which she was glad about, Meredith still felt extreme guilt over the situation but decided to dwell on that later because she now was focused on helping her fiancée and her foster daughter get better.

"Hey mol" Mer shouted up the stairs as the pair walked in the door having returned from hospital

"Hey" mollie walked sheepishly down the stairs, Amelia following after her

"Hey honey" Addison opened her arms and mollie melted into her comfort

"I'm sorry Addie I'm so sorry" mollie sniffled slightly

"You have nothing to apologise for kitten. Now how about we all chill out and watch some tv on the couch"

"Sounds good as long as I'm snuggled up with you and Mer" mollie quipped

"Wouldn't have it any other way my love"

Meredith smiled ecstatically at the moment the two were having. She still had this unsettling feeling in her stomach but she let it go for the time being. Today was about her girls. Nothing would come in the way of that.

The three of them cuddled up on the sofa, mollie lying on top of Addison and Meredith sitting at the end of the couch watching pair happily. They decided to watch friends, a classic they kept coming back too.

After a while Mer ordered in pizza for them all so they could keep binging friends. Eventually the pizza arrived and Mer worried slightly about Addison, but she was fine in fact she had three large slices of pizza which was a massive improvement. Mollie had one, she struggled to eat the pizza but she didn't cry which was a first for her. Meredith was so proud of the two for coming so far, she was proud of all of them.

Eventually it got late and Meredith could see the tired eyes of both mollie and Addison.

"Girls I think we should head off to bed, I'm getting tired" Mer suggested

"Yeh I'm going up goodnight mums love you" mollie kissed Meredith and Addison on the cheeks before going up the stairs.

"I hope she's okay. She looks fine but who knows what she is actually feeling"

"I think she is having a good day today Addie so let's just take that as a win" Meredith scooped her fiancée into her arms and carried her up to their bedroom.

The two women got ready and tucked themselves in, Addison being the big spoon and Meredith being the small spoon.

-

Addisons POV-

A few hours after we all went to bed I felt somebody crawling into bed behind me. I opened my eyes and adjusted to the darkness to find mollie sheepishly tucking herself behind me.

"Hey mol you okay" I whispered careful to not wake Meredith

"I just feel safer in bed with you two I don't know what it is. Can I stay"

"Wouldn't have it any other way darling" I kissed her on the head and fell back to sleep.

I was awoken again this time by Meredith who was crying in her sleep. She was clearly having a night terror which wasn't uncommon for her but this was worse than most. She started screaming and thrashing her body round the bed and she woke up mollie.

"Is she okay ma" mollie nearly in tears over her mother figures state

"She will be fine mol try go back to bed okay"

Mollie just turned over and blocked out the sounds coming from the other side of the bed

"Mer Mer wake up it's me it's Addie your safe it's okay" I was shaking her shoulders to get her to wake and eventually she did

"Addie" tears started making their way down her cheeks slowly. Her terror must have been bad, Addison hadn't seen Meredith in this state in a wee while and it unsettled her.

"Your okay it's fine I'm here and I'm not leaving okay baby" I just wrapped my arms round her chest and put my chin on her shoulder, rocking her back and forward calming her slowly.

"I'm scared Addie I don't like to sleep anymore because I don't want to have a night terror"

"That is a very normal reaction baby, mollie is in our bed with us but we can get Amelia to look after her for 2 days or so and we can get you all sorted my love"

"I don't want to abandon her Addie"

"You won't be. Plus she told me earlier that she is comfortable with Amy and she would feel safe even in a crisis. Amy is like her big sister, she'll be fine with her I promise Mer"

"Okay I love you and I want to go to city hall and marry you immediately. I'm done waiting I just want to be married now Addie"

"It's sorted we are going to city hall tomorrow then Mer"