Chapter 36

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***I don't want to make another A/N type chapter, so I'm just gonna add this here. I posted a chapter entitled Letter to My Fans the other day. In that chapter, in case you didn't read it, I basically said I would not be moving forward with this story once this one was over. I've been thinking, and I honestly don't think that's fair to all of you. There are things I wish I had done different, but I don't want to give this story up if so many people love it and believe in it. So, with that being said, if you guys would like for me to possibly do a sequel and/or spin off book, comment and let me know. If I have enough people that would like that, I will do it. If not, I stand by what I said in the letter and will not move forward with this book once it is complete. Okay, you may continue to the chapter now, thanks!***

James was under massive amounts of stress. He was running Silent Ash practically by himself, dealing with trying to cure Lance, helping Nicollet and Drew adapt to the pack. The list went on and on. The more he thought about his talk with Nicole about him taking over the pack as alpha, the more he realized he didn't want the position. Beta, yeah. But alpha? The more time he spent running the pack the more he realized he wasn't cut out to be an alpha. It was a lot, a lot more than he thought he could handle. He didn't want to disappoint Nicole though. So, there he sat, in Nicole's office which she had graciously told him to use, running over different ways to tell her he didn't want the position after all. His anxiety was high, and he slowly felt himself falling into a deep spiral of emotions the more he focused on it. He was leaning back in the large office chair as a soft knock came on the door.

"Come in." he said, trying to control his voice to hide his anxiety.

Nicollet walked in, shutting the door behind her and walking to the desk. "I wanted to check on you. See if you need any help with anything?" Her voice was soft and full of care, and James subconsciously relaxed at her presence.

He sighed, running his left hand through his hair. "I..." He couldn't think of how to respond.

Nicollet furrowed her eyebrows in worry, taking a seat in one of the chairs at the desk. "What's wrong?"

James sighed once more, leaning forward on the desk. "Nicole... she mentioned possibly making me alpha. And I'm honored, really, but..." He trailed off once more.

Nicollet gave him a knowing look. "You don't want the position, do you?"

James shook his head. "I'm not cut out to be an alpha. I'm meant to support the alpha, not be one. I just... I don't know how to tell her. She thinks I can do it, I just...I can't." He sighed, looking down at the desk. "Andrew was by far the greatest alpha we've had, at least to me. Nicole filled his shoes perfectly, but I just don't think I can. I mean, I'm not an alpha by blood. How can I be expected to run the pack all of a sudden?"

Nicollet bit her lip, studying him. "I think it's very dutiful for you to admit that. I always knew you would mean something to this pack. Maybe that's as a beta." she suggested. James eyes perked at her words as his head lifted to face her. She continued speaking, a smile gracing her lips. "I've missed most of my daughters life, practically all of it. She has a lot to learn, and with Andrew being taken so soon, she hasn't reached her full potential yet. She had to have genuinely thought you could do it to even ask you if you would accept the position." She leaned forward, grabbing his hand gently in hers. "If you don't want it, you aren't expected to take it. If you would like to be beta, well, we can work that out."

James nodded, a smile on his face. "Thank you. What will happen to the pack though? Who will lead."

Nicollet thought for a moment, not sure how to respond without her words coming out in the wrong way. "Really, Silent Ash has an heir."

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