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elsewhere • bae joohyun

prompt: your girlfriend joohyun helps you through your depression.

pairing: bae joohyun x gender neutral reader.

genre: angst with happy ending

word count: 2867

The sound of the front door shutting forces your body to immediately react and bury yourself deeper in the grave of blankets and pillows you've rested yourself in. Your eyes shut even tighter and you hold your breath, thinking that maybe you could make yourself invisible to the world, to everyone, even Joohyun.

She calls your name on a clear pitch with a bright tone. The lilt at the end tells you that she is looking for you. Swear words stitch themselves across your webbed mind and you are now completely submerged in the thick fabric.

Joohyun opens the bedroom door and stands in the doorway, letting the yellow flourescent light of the hallway fill your dark room. You can't see her, but she has a grim frown on her face. Softly, she sets her bags down and gracefully makes her way over to your nest. Her footsteps are not audible. She sits on the edge of your bed and you feel her hand resting on your waist through the blankets. Again, she calls your name.

"Honey," she says. Her voice is sorrowful. You stay quiet and so does she. She waits a moment before beginning to peel back the prison of fabrics burdening you. You don't move a muscle - you don't even have the energy to open your eyes. Your lungs fill and depress and your heart beats on a steady rhythm, but the weight of this life was keeping you bound to your bed. It was yet another day where night had leaked into the sunlight and your spirits were low enough to leave your body forever. Your cheeks were stained with dried tears and you had been in bed for hours upon hours now. Again, you had found yourself closer to death than life. Joohyun maintained somewhat of a concerned pokerface, failing to mask her grief, but managing to hide the panic and dismay she felt when she came home to find you, yet again, on the brink of this world.

She pulls back the last blanket and you muster the energy open your eyes. Ahead of you is the window showing the Seoul skyline and you force yourself to breathe. Joohyun runs a small hand over your hair and you don't dare look up at her. Joohyun, the radiant, divine Joohyun, was too magnificent for this world. She was far too amazing for you, yet she came home to you every night and told you that she loved nothing more than you. You, an empty vessel, a fool that couldn't complete the most simple of tasks, the undeserving less-than-human being that was you, was what Joohyun loved most in the world. The thought brought tears to your eyes which were now squeezed shut. She leaned over you and wiped your tears, whispering soft words to you as your sobs broke through.

Through your crying, all you could manage to choke out were vague apologies. Joohyun hushed you and sat you up. She sat you in her lap and rubbed your back. Her affections managed to both bring solace to your raging mind and make your cries come more rapidly.

"Shh. It's okay. It's okay. You're fine, I'm here." Again, you couldn't see her face but you knew that she bore a pain-filled mug. You continued to wail as she frantically tried to comfort you, just as she always did.

Nowadays, it was more often than not that you found yourself walking as a corpse, a slave to the universe. The world you saw was not the same as before, the music you heard did not sound as it once did. But again, time after time, Joohyun had found herself offering her hand and picking you up from the depths of human dejection.

And she loved you.

Despite the inconsistencies, the depression, the unwashed dishes and the drawn curtains, she loved you. Joohyun was always, and would always continue to be, the steady, constant factor in your life. Your life that was ever-changing, lived on a day-to-day schedule on the woven threads of a prayer, had one permanence and it was her. When you had met, it was not like this. When you met her, it was as if the sun itself had been sealed to your soul, and she had sealed herself to your heart. Neither of you were sure when things went wrong or when you got lost, but Joohyun knew that it would be her to find you again.