Chapter 10

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A/N

Oh my god guys, I am so, so, so sorry. I just went to update and post Chapter 11, only to find out I had, as Chapter 10. I am replacing it now with the actual Chapter 10 that I accidentally skipped over, and hopefully some more things might make sense. I'm not sure how I managed to stuff it up so badly, I must've been really tired. I apologize for the mistake and I hope you still enjoy this

Trigger Warning
Mention of suicidal thoughts but very brief

Yeosang's POV

My body felt stiff and weird, but I could tell I was laying on something soft, comforting. The contrast is kind of odd. I know something happened, I remember bits and pieces. It's like was in a haze, perhaps like I was doing things but it felt like it wasn't me doing it, like I was just watching. I don't remember much, just San's voice, something cold on my skin, fingers running through my hair. Everything is jumbled so I decided to just give up on trying to decipher it. I slowly peeled my eyes open, fighting back a groan at the sudden influx of light. I probably should've gotten myself adjusted before I just opened them like that but, oh well. I groaned slightly, my body protesting as I moved but I looked around quickly. I glanced around, quickly realising I wasn't in my room, I don't think I was even in the Sector. The room was white and there wasn't really much in it, but I noticed some equipment. I'm in some sort of hospital room, I think. But how did I get here? I glanced around the room, pausing as my eyes landed on a figure curled up in the chair next to me. The small figure and the orange hair immediately gave away who it was. If Hongjoong's here, then it means something happened to me and I was sent here. That's better than being kidnapped or something, I guess. I slowly pushed myself up into a sitting position before rubbing the sleep from my eyes with my fists. It felt weird, different than normal so I looked down at my hands, my heart stopping at what I saw. My hands were re, my gloves weren't on them.

"Hyung. Hyung wake up. Hongjoong Hyung," I said frantically, my breathing quickening. My gloves are gone. How can they be gone? Oh god, did I hurt someone? Did I kill someone again? Is that why I'm here? Shouldn't I be restrained.

"Sangie. Yeosang calm down." My head snapped towards a very much awake and closer Hongjoong. I whimpered and shuffled back, clutching my hands to my chest for good measure. Not Hongjoong, I can't risk it. I can't hurt someone who has been so kind and welcoming to me.

"It's ok, you're ok. You had a bad fever and you passed out so you were taken here alright. You're in the infirmary right now," he said. I clenched my hands tightly to my chest, my eyes wide and fearful. It would kill me if I were to accidentally hurt him, I don't want to risk it.

"Hyung, can you please get back a bit," I asked quietly. His eyes went a little wide but he nodded and back up immediately. I only relaxed once he was a few steps back.

"Do you, remember what happened," Hongjoong asked slowly.

"Not really. I remember San was there at one point. And Mingi because he was running his fingers through my hair. There was also something cold but I can't really picture anything. It's also just fuzzy," I said truthfully.

"Why did you want me further back. There's nothing wrong with that, we will always respect your wishes but I just want to know. So I can start to understand the signs without you having to tell us," he said.

"My gloves are gone," I said quietly, showing him my hands.

"I really don't want to accidentally hurt you. You guys have been so kind to me, kinder than anyone else has ever been and I don't want to repay you by hurting you," I said quietly. I saw his face drop slightly and I understood. He wouldn't want him or any of the other's to be hurt by me either.

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