Initial Conditions

sad girl

she looks so sad, i say
and you just turned
and walked away
and assumed too-high privilege
while i turned my head
and watched her cover
her wet and puffy face
with large, dark glasses
as she slid and hid in tommy bahama;
my hand went slack,
our disappointment bothered you
it's silence parting us
until each stepped
toward the center of this void
and it with self-forgiving light and darkness fill

🥹

My true character has revealed itself a handful of times, and while it's not uniformly heroic, walking away from someone in distress is impossible for me. Yet, that day I trusted that you would do the right thing in my stead, and that's why I was so shocked when you didn't follow through, and went to shop for yourself instead. I can't forgive myself for trusting you, even though I've forgiven you for what you failed to do.