Initial Conditions

shower

naked, it all washes over me,
a cascading suspension
of water and emotion
mixed with cleansing vulnerability,
a warm and soft emulsion,
an imagined touch,
close enough almost
to feel almost loved,
at least by myself,
until my eyes fly open
and the dream abruptly subsides
the tears get lost mingling
with the steamy droplets
clinging to me as they glide;
everything flows gently
through heart and sinuses
then trickles down,
diffused and diluted
until the mind tricks itself
into thinking that is or isn't;
each a delusion too unbearable to believe
was it really crying if no witnesses bear its memory?
only the drain knows,
and for a moment i imagine
all the secrets it must contain.
then the water stops,
and i'm left wet and naked,
still alone, but refreshed and unafraid

🚿

Sobbing in the shower is a sensory experience like no other. The water masks the tears and most of the sound. It's a private space so you can expect to be let alone. You're standing, and collapsing really isn't an option, or at least not a good one. I wouldn't recommend it any less than crying anywhere else, but under the right circumstances it works.