Initial Conditions

self control

i want you to know
it takes my every gram
to resist walking up
and talking to you,
even though i know
the words would contort
before you heard them,
and i would be ashamed
to have come out

but oh, how i want
to give in
to whatever prudence shuns,
let go of every insecurity
and place my fate
in your schrödinger's,
crossed or loving, arms

but i dare not tempt collapse
panoply alternative realities
upon my optimistic dreams
because deep down i know
i've already undermined them,
proving forgiveness
an statistical improbability

🫂

I take comfort in quantum theory and endulce in the dissonance of proof and improbability. There's only one universe I will experience and while it's not any of those where I'm with you, I don't want it to be any of the those where I'm cut off from you completely either. I'm okay riding the fence until or unless you want to get out of here and go somewhere together.